monkeybanana

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monkeybanana

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2042
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About monkeybanana : Hiiii :)

monkeybanana's page activity

Visits<b>flipb11</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 1:39am<b>sydnvy</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 5:36pm<b>slingerslasher</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 2:51pm<b>blinked_281</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:45am<b>nrubs11</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 2:51pm<b>Coltonomore</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 1:32am<b>Zatert</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:23pm<b>DragonDude</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:50pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 1:02am<b>edgeofstorms</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 1:50pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 6:50pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:47pm<b>ThenamesEevee</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 2:53pm<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 10:46pm<b>specialist8404</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 10:18am<b>Nicky816</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 2:29am<b>sanghera43</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 12:48am<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 9:10am

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monkeybanana's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML

by danonno / 08/02/2012 at 5:08pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML

by say my name / 06/30/2012 at 9:35pm / Intimacy

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML

by cmck932012 / 06/26/2012 at 2:18am / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I found out where my surprise honeymoon is; it involves swimming with dolphins. I have a huge fear of dolphins, whales and sharks. FML

by SwimmingInFear / 05/28/2012 at 11:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

by Kayla / 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm / United States / Health

Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML

by stainseverywhere / 02/01/2012 at 2:11am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

by Tiana / 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

by bathtime / 12/20/2011 at 11:32pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

by lebato97 / 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 4:38am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was getting out of the shower, when my boyfriend decided to ask, "Did your boobs get smaller, or did you just gain weight around them?" FML

by The fat and the ugly / 10/27/2011 at 2:56pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML

by Anonymous / 09/17/2011 at 4:17am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Love

Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

by SinkyBalls / 08/29/2011 at 11:56pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous