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I agree, their lives suck
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Today... my 8 year old son askd me wy e ad to make is bd everyday if e would just use it again. I replid wit... ( You flus te toilet even toug you're going to use it again... rigt? ) He said... ( Good point. ) Now e's not making is bd or flusing te toilet. FML
Today, I went to a job interview, an a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door . I rushed to help him up, an after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well . fat FML
Today, an attractive guy approached me and struck up a conversation. He was friendly and sweet, and gave me his number. As I walked away, mah first thought was that someone had played a cruel joke on me. I've had such awful relationships that I can't recognizehen someone is actually being sincere. FML
Yesterday , Mah Brain Decided To Go Into Suicide Mode. So Far I've Managed To Open A Fridge Door Into Mah Face , Walk Balls-first Into The Corner Of A Table , And Sliced Mah Finger While Trying To Cut Open Some Thick Plastic Packaging With Scissors. I'll Probably Be Dead By The Time This Is Posted. FML
Today...hile lifeguarding.. . I slippd and fell from my chair and onto the cement . Embarrassd and actually quite hurt.. . I trid to climb back up to the chair.. . but it tippd . I fell half onto the cement half into the pool.. . just before the chair landd on top of me . FML
Today, Ma Parants Dacidad To Gat Wit Ta Timas. So Far, Tay'va Mada Ma Gat Snapcat And Instagram Accounts, And Mada Ma Add Tam On Facabook. Tay Kaap Acting Lika Annoying Taanagars, And Gat Mad At Ma Wan I Don't Play Along. For Ta Lova Of God, Somabody Sava Ma. FML
Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use ( stranger danger ). Later that day, we went out an since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming ( STRANGER DANGER! ) A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
Today, it's five days until my wedding an I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister . They share clothes, have the same harcut, an they even take turns flrting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me . I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one . FML
Yesterday, it's been a week since I found an egg in te street tat ad seemingly fallen out of a nest!! I'd bougt a cage and an expensive incubator lamp to save it!! It's tus been a week tat I've been trying to save a mouldy old potato!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015