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monicabadillon

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monicabadillon

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  • Number of visits : 190
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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monicabadillon's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML

#19296842
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25137) - you deserved it (10144)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by unendowed - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML

#19243836
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40071) - you deserved it (6861)

On 03/09/2012 at 1:59am - intimacy - by banned - United States (California)

Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML

#19039141
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31094) - you deserved it (6454)

On 02/10/2012 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55185) - you deserved it (4241)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33869) - you deserved it (11061)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

#17919318
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27961) - you deserved it (10058)

On 10/06/2011 at 11:23am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35880) - you deserved it (4500)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, while working as a cashier at McDonald's, a man came in telling me that he had not received his hamburger. I looked at his receipt and the date said 11/17/09. FML

#16970431
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32594) - you deserved it (3489)

On 07/04/2011 at 5:42am - work - by crudofalife - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spent fifteen minutes looking for my phone in my car before I realized I was using it as a flashlight. FML

#16579288
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14763) - you deserved it (56253)

On 06/09/2011 at 2:30pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, a customer tried to pay for a $1.55 cup of coffee with a gift card, but he came up a dollar short. He let another customer through while he fumbled in his pocket for money. I later noticed a dollar had disappeared from my tip jar. FML

#14095339
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24825) - you deserved it (3460)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:36pm - work - by barista (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got off from work and noticed that the weather finally warmed up after the recent snowstorm. I hopped into my car and rolled down the windows. When I opened the sun roof, a foot of snow came falling into my car. FML

#8590514
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5693) - you deserved it (39905)

On 02/23/2010 at 3:55pm - misc - by Chris Altenbach - United States (Colorado)

Today, some girl from Colorado called me. She knew my name. My Facebook. I had no idea how she got my number. She then asks me out. I say "sure" sarcastically. She then calls my girlfriend, who also lives in Colorado. Our relationship is now over. FML

#7598388
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10937) - you deserved it (33592)

On 01/26/2010 at 9:12pm - love - by Aaron (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I spent the day studying with one of my classmates whom I've just met. While studying, she kept bragging about her boyfriend and decided to show me a picture of him. It was my boyfriend. FML

#7372755
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39735) - you deserved it (2234)

On 01/16/2010 at 2:17am - misc - by shockedgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML

#6848786
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8762) - you deserved it (47622)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Klamp18 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (181073) - you deserved it (18909)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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