About mona_is_here : Pre-law. 5'3''/110 lbs. The rest you'll hear behind my back.
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Today, I was eating lunch at McDonald's when an older man sat down at the table next to me and told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. I'm a 20 year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24471) - you deserved it (4164)
On 11/04/2010 at 3:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25967) - you deserved it (2728)
On 08/03/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by jkin47 (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I got called a "loser" by an old man wearing pink flip-flops and riding a purple moped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30243) - you deserved it (6791)
On 07/01/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by cooldude (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, a guy at work told me to "relax dude", all day long. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12771) - you deserved it (4054)
On 02/24/2010 at 7:57pm - work - by Herman - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19173) - you deserved it (3830)
On 01/20/2010 at 1:17am - intimacy - by ilovesocks (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8021) - you deserved it (25730)
On 12/07/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by CH (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38499) - you deserved it (2230)
On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was lost in a new town, so I asked a woman for directions. For some reason, she seemed to avoid me. About halfway down the block, she quickly turned around, and the next thing I remember is my eyes stinging like hell. Apparently she thought I was a mugger and maced me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20793) - you deserved it (2575)
On 11/02/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54597) - you deserved it (12512)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23988) - you deserved it (51625)
On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24532) - you deserved it (106430)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML
I agree, your life sucks (80035) - you deserved it (21095)
On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199152) - you deserved it (58824)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38751) - you deserved it (2324)
On 02/17/2009 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by jons (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 20 May 2013
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