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Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30834) - you deserved it (2878)
On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)
Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14698) - you deserved it (2191)
On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20463) - you deserved it (4602)
On 10/28/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Ceej - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48306) - you deserved it (2257)
On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23872) - you deserved it (3473)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I noticed my nephew has blue eyes, freckles and dimples which don't run in my family or my sister's husband's family, but they do run in my husband's family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29909) - you deserved it (2653)
On 05/06/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Damn (woman) - Australia
Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24424) - you deserved it (2857)
On 05/05/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10055) - you deserved it (29165)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States
Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16020) - you deserved it (3286)
On 04/21/2012 at 11:27pm - health - by JurassicHole (man) - United States
Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5777) - you deserved it (45607)
On 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm - misc - by Jenn P (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that the pool boy has been stealing from me for over a year now. The latest things that he has taken are my laptop, the cash I hide in my closet and my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30851) - you deserved it (2783)
On 02/16/2012 at 11:26am - misc - by mypoolisstilldirty (man) - Australia
I agree, your life sucks (18923) - you deserved it (2086)
Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18944) - you deserved it (3965)
On 02/13/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by cieee - United States (Texas)
Today, I received a single, hand-made Valentine's card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20379) - you deserved it (3737)
On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)
Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25766) - you deserved it (2093)
On 12/27/2011 at 10:53am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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