mommabear87

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mommabear87

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 August 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 73
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About mommabear87 : Uhhhhhh

mommabear87's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Judgmental

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mommabear87's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

by sausages / 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm / Macedonia (Karpos) / Health

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2014 at 3:36pm / United Kingdom (Fife) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

by eyes wide SHIT / 12/27/2013 at 8:37pm / Australia / Animals

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Animals

Today, my husband removed the TV from our bedroom to improve our sex life. Still no sex because he watches TV on his iPhone. FML

by oddgrrl99 / 07/23/2013 at 6:42pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my grandpa moved into the apartment next door. The walls are wafer-thin. Goodbye sex life. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex; I know that some women are great multitaskers, but I'm guessing it was a bad sign when she started to go over the shopping list. FML

by Fml / 04/12/2013 at 1:05am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

by Ben / 06/18/2011 at 11:34am / United States (California) / Kids