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moldypeaches

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moldypeaches
  • Town/Country : philly, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 260
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About moldypeaches : She doesn't even go here

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moldypeaches's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53298) - you deserved it (11251)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

#20736762
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45730) - you deserved it (2877)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:35am - money - by what_the_hell (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

#20604138
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38618) - you deserved it (3665)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:07am - work - by lamelifeguard - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38495) - you deserved it (2838)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML

#20433852
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39848) - you deserved it (2515)

On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41020) - you deserved it (3192)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

#17655668
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20150) - you deserved it (27814)

On 09/03/2011 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by SterlingSilver91 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML

#13849266
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19628) - you deserved it (7323)

On 11/15/2010 at 2:26am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28828) - you deserved it (26807)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

#5895637
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21835) - you deserved it (2947)

On 10/19/2009 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Geez (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML

#4144889
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17414) - you deserved it (44289)

On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213934) - you deserved it (73294)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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