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moldehbread

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moldehbread

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 December 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 214
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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moldehbread's page activity

Visits<b>felipe2342</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 2:17pm<b>WCARlover</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 11:24pm<b>BrianTheWrestler</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 11:31pm

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moldehbread's favorite FMLs

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31785) - you deserved it (2304)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

#21397883
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44417) - you deserved it (3317)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44224) - you deserved it (5667)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37737) - you deserved it (4153)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40714) - you deserved it (3873)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)

Today, my car broke down on the highway, and I had to call for a tow truck. It finally showed up, only to break down too less than a mile later. Cue nearly freezing to death while we waited for help to arrive for the both of us. FML

#21006306
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34891) - you deserved it (2447)

On 12/26/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by MERRY FUCKMYARSEMASS (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I told my dad I'm pregnant. His response? "It's only a phase, you'll get over it." FML

#20592767
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53489) - you deserved it (10269)

On 04/15/2013 at 2:04am - intimacy - by twinArmageddon2 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50846) - you deserved it (10901)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25602) - you deserved it (3828)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML

#16657844
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34760) - you deserved it (3347)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:47am - misc - by lalala (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

#15427360
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58224) - you deserved it (6310)

On 03/22/2011 at 3:23am - animals - by negin -

Today, to enhance our sex life, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex in our local mall's parking lot. The feeling of getting caught is fun and exhilarating. Until you actually get caught. FML

#14845323
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12012) - you deserved it (51520)

On 02/04/2011 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74144) - you deserved it (6996)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML

#14796617
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19359) - you deserved it (40124)

On 02/01/2011 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theshameofit (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

#13027296
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40722) - you deserved it (5945)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm - intimacy - by nickim756 - United States (North Carolina)



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