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mojoandalex2015

Offline (the 08/03/2015 at 7:58pm) | Search for a member

mojoandalex2015

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 5 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 494
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mojoandalex2015's page activity

Visits<b>hammerhead2015</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 12:35am<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 9:08am

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mojoandalex2015's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML

#21327839
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25429) - you deserved it (45144)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm - kids - by skanula414 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45099) - you deserved it (13161)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71173) - you deserved it (5621)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a face time. Busted. FML

#21208909
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31913) - you deserved it (49354)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Ob3nie - United States (California)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54848) - you deserved it (4814)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on a date for the first time since my divorce was finalized a year ago. The first question the guy asked me was what my favorite sex position is. FML

#21135207
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51791) - you deserved it (6225)

On 05/09/2014 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by CEO - United States (Virginia)

Today, I let my sister use my phone to play music in the shower, expecting her to use the speakers I have. She used a ziplock bag with a hole in it to connect her headphones. Now I have a waterlogged phone and my sister still doesn't understand why it didn't work. FML

#21130991
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45047) - you deserved it (7814)

On 05/04/2014 at 11:18pm - misc - by wow. - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML

#21130777
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42328) - you deserved it (5710)

On 05/04/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47911) - you deserved it (4995)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

#21118892
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57769) - you deserved it (14433)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Sue Ellen (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML

#21118654
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54821) - you deserved it (4211)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:11am - misc - by shorty (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

#21115090
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52409) - you deserved it (4407)

On 04/16/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by exasperated (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML

#21107817
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25524) - you deserved it (44224)

On 04/08/2014 at 6:04pm - misc - by not a dumbass pothead (man) - United States (Nevada)



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