About moemoney8888 : STOP STALKING ME
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moemoney8888's favorite FMLs
Today, after two and a half hours of travel, it was finally my stop on the train. I politely waited for a group of women to get off first. They took so long to move that the train doors closed. I shouted at one through the door to call the conductor. She watched and smiled as the train departed. FML
by CrimsonAmaryllis / 04/01/2013 at 12:37pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Transportation
Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML
by dumb tourists / 03/31/2013 at 2:19am / China (Beijing) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML
by Master Debater / 02/01/2013 at 6:05am / Australia / Intimacy
by Sad ex-wife / 09/21/2012 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Love
Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML
by Anonymous / 09/21/2012 at 12:51am / United States / Kids
by jitiizer / 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Miscellaneous
by unaware / 09/19/2012 at 12:14am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by he is going to hell / 09/18/2012 at 5:46pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by GMD / 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Health
by emselin / 09/18/2012 at 4:07pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Love
by Oh_So_Klassical / 09/17/2012 at 9:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Missusluv313 / 09/17/2012 at 7:25am / United States (Indiana) / Health
Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML
by thefuckman / 09/14/2012 at 3:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was coaching some kids in table tennis when I told them to try a forehand loop, or smash.… Today, I lost my wallet during a flight. I figured it was in a bag that I had given to an attendant… Today, while browsing the Internet on my phone I noticed a spider above my bed. Being pretty chill…
- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he…