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mmtiki

Offline (the 04/25/2015 at 8:03am) | Search for a member

mmtiki

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 245
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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mmtiki's page activity

Visits<b>A_Little_Girl77</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 5:02pm<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 12:41am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 4:17pm<b>Dicebar</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 7:27pm<b>PleasantDino</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 9:57pm<b>laaryssa</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 1:26am<b>purplhaze88</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 12:00am<b>midnight_tiger</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 6:03pm<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:16pm<b>__Tron_Cat__</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 9:26pm

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mmtiki's favorite FMLs

Today, I collected a package from a handsome UPS guy. We exchanged smiles, and he even noticeably checked me out. I was feeling really confident for the first time in a while. Then I went inside and saw that I had two huge breastmilk spots on my chest. FML

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

#19910380
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18778) - you deserved it (6744)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45102) - you deserved it (5056)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML

#17790312
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39960) - you deserved it (2294)

On 09/20/2011 at 7:54pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my six year old daughter cut out the stomach area of four of my favorite shirts. When I asked her why she had done so she replied, "So that they fit your tummy better, Mommy." FML

#8864405
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28294) - you deserved it (5735)

On 03/06/2010 at 8:05am - kids - by Fatty (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML

#6901032
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34683) - you deserved it (11277)

On 12/23/2009 at 11:05am - kids - by meep (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML

#5033555
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14411) - you deserved it (42190)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:30am - work - by DrGas (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML

#4906491
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14688) - you deserved it (49337)

On 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by SOdamnNervous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I realized how much I hate my apartment. Not only can I hear my creepy upstairs neighbor having sex with random hookers every few night, I can also hear him everytime he takes a shit. I honestly don't know which is worse. FML

#3085922
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52954) - you deserved it (2822)

On 06/21/2009 at 8:05am - intimacy - by Steph (woman) - Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya)

Today, I reached into my fridge to grab a strawberry soda. I noticed the can had started to leak from the top so I slurped up the spilt red liquid on the top of the can. I realized it wasn't soda, but blood from a defrosting steak on the shelf above it. FML

#2929872
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51007) - you deserved it (21783)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by kjmsit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (275643) - you deserved it (50336)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States



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