mmcrae97

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mmcrae97

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  • Number of visits : 2540
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mmcrae97's page activity

Visits<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 7:28am

Fucked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 1:28pm

mmcrae97's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of mmcrae97's badges

mmcrae97's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML

by YouDontSay / 05/10/2015 at 11:35am / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm / India (Delhi) / Intimacy

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

by seethroughpee / 05/06/2015 at 1:22am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I found out why my husband has been coming home from work so late. Turns out he loves to help people. Specifically female people. And by help, I mean sleep with. FML

by I pick em' good / 05/03/2015 at 1:49pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2015 at 5:59am / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML

by morphea / 04/29/2015 at 6:54pm / France (Bretagne) / Animals

Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML

by simple living / 04/28/2015 at 10:43pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was sitting in McDonald's. A lady came up to me and started complaining about the bad service, and asked for the manager. I told her that I didn't work there. "But you must, someone that fat has to work here!" FML

by fatty / 04/28/2015 at 9:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my class to name some West African countries. Several of them thought Ebola was a country. I teach an AP history class. FML

by advanced history teacher / 04/27/2015 at 12:58am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for public sex. FML

by RBergman / 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love

Today, my boss' incompetent, lazy son got another raise. He only started working here five months ago. Since then he's been promoted twice and given a Bentley as a company car. All this while company profits are in the shitter and the rest of us are facing a wave of layoffs. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2015 at 1:39pm / Qatar (Ad Dawhah) / Work

Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML

by Kira / 04/24/2015 at 1:09pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Animals

Today, my boss gave me the job of dealing with the guys doing the roofing at our store. His reasoning is that since we're all Hispanic, I'm perfect for the job because "You guys all know each other." FML

by -_- / 04/22/2015 at 11:06am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2015 at 6:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate wants to kick me out because I can't afford to pay my share of the rent this month. I couldn't afford to, because I had to pay for repairs to my car after my roommate got drunk, stole my keys, and crashed it into a street light. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2015 at 10:32am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Miscellaneous