mmaalouf97

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Offline (the 03/07/2016 at 3:28am)

mmaalouf97

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Ponte Vedra Beach, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 11 December 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 493
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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mmaalouf97's page activity

Visits<b>cpaiger1999</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 11:50am<b>carliflowerr</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 11:26am<b>mj0101</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 4:17am<b>art80000</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 2:46am<b>Puffytruffles</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 12:16am<b>DeathGun</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 10:48pm<b>SwagLord99</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 9:11pm<b>idoitlikethat</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 6:26pm<b>bearclawz44</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:57am<b>Greeder45xL</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 10:17am<b>PeterPansGirl</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 10:57pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:29am<b>Aquaman911</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 3:13pm<b>DarkSaul</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 9:54am<b>mylyfetho</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 6:23pm

mmaalouf97's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of mmaalouf97's badges

mmaalouf97's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband was disgusted by me expressing breast milk while we were in the shower together. This is the same man who thinks it's funny to pee on my legs because, "It'll wash off." FML

by Ew?Really? / 08/04/2014 at 1:42am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML

by workfordayzz / 05/14/2014 at 1:45pm / United States / Work

Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML

by lol112 / 06/02/2012 at 8:47am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has a chipped tooth is because his teeth hit another girl's teeth while kissing her. FML

by ohmydog / 09/05/2010 at 4:14am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML

by doesntkissalot / 08/28/2010 at 12:19pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

by DutchOven / 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my fiancée got out of the shower, completely shaved. I went over to her, wrapped her in a hug and asked her what the occasion was. She pulled away and said that she had a gyno appointment. My fiancée will clean up for the gyno, but not for me. FML

by jimboxo / 04/26/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, when I was at the gynecologist my dr told me that I was really tense and the exam would be impossible if I didnt relax. So I started thinking about my boyfriend to relax and my mind went back to our last sex session. I started getting wet. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy