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mlimie7532's FML badges
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mlimie7532's favorite FMLs
by WickedRene / 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by carebear1228 / 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Love
Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML
by bleach bleach bleach / 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy
Today, I was in the middle of an interview; it was going great until I started coughing. That coughing led to an asthma attack, which led to nonstop gagging. I couldn't even answer his final question, "Are you okay?" FML
by Anonymous / 12/12/2013 at 10:47pm / United States / Health
Today, my husband and I arrived in Barbados on vacation. We visited a club, and they had a selection of drinks with weird names. My husband ordered one called the Raging Bitch, flicked his finger towards me, and said to the barkeeper, "Might as well get something I'm used to." FML
by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 12:45pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Maine) / Transportation
Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML
by Aggressive / 07/09/2013 at 4:54am / Ireland (Dublin) / Health
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
by i hit a cyclist / 05/27/2013 at 7:19am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation
by ChangoFett / 05/26/2013 at 2:46am / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 3:59pm / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Holidays
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/17/2013 at 1:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 9:47am / United States (California) / Work
by Sydney / 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, I just found out that my little brother likes to peak through the crack of the bathroom door… Today, my loneliness hit an all time low when I actually considered "accidentally" texting a random… Today, after choosing all classes that start after 11, so I could finally sleep in 'til 9 everyday,…