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mkayden

Offline (the 05/21/2014 at 2:28pm) | Search for a member

mkayden

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 July 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 394
  • Number of comments : 162
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mkayden : Hello there! My name is Mad, I'm 17 and I have no idea what to tell you about myself. Awkward.. Bye

mkayden's page activity

Visits<b>andy594328</b> - yesterday at 2:18am<b>ronak</b> - yesterday at 9:01pm<b>A07</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 9:12am<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 10:12pm<b>mfaizsiddiqui</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 6:13pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 5:39pm<b>killer0689</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 4:45pm<b>officiallatina</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:58am<b>Krystal3408</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:35pm<b>Imacutiez</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 9:20pm<b>FrankHotpants</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 9:04pm<b>Noxialis</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:34pm<b>rabbitlover16</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:37pm<b>lb562</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:21pm<b>MrABomb</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 5:05am<b>Jag_v</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 11:17am<b>xChaos</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 9:03am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 7:56pm

mkayden's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of mkayden's badges

mkayden's favorite FMLs

Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML

#21225641
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32955) - you deserved it (3395)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:38am - misc - by lostintdot (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML

#21225439
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31314) - you deserved it (3552)

On 07/31/2014 at 1:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34186) - you deserved it (11260)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

#21206358
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40114) - you deserved it (6391)

On 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm - health - by sexyhobbit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49927) - you deserved it (6582)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51903) - you deserved it (4562)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

#21174627
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46110) - you deserved it (22753)

On 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45174) - you deserved it (6823)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50331) - you deserved it (10872)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

#21166299
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46998) - you deserved it (4766)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46002) - you deserved it (5112)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44108) - you deserved it (8301)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, out of habit from twelve years of karate classes, I bowed to my teacher as I exited my classroom. My chemistry classroom. FML

#21156297
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40531) - you deserved it (6518)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm - work - by mathesonn - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

#21154562
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46258) - you deserved it (27695)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm - kids - by outsmartedbykids (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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