Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mkayden

Online | Search for a member

mkayden

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 July 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 443
  • Number of comments : 174
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mkayden : Hello there! My name is Mad, I'm 17 and I have no idea what to tell you about myself. Awkward.. Bye

mkayden's page activity

Visits<b>DougK76</b> - 23 hours ago<b>people_annoy_me</b> - yesterday at 3:51am<b>Mad_Or_Nah</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 7:25am<b>Alexv572</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 4:04am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 1:22pm<b>Tyde</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 6:07am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 3:02am<b>YoshiEgg</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 1:22am<b>tcmxo</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 1:15am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 11:26pm<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:31pm<b>Jclan_91419</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:04pm<b>GuessWut</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:45pm<b>boostedc</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:31pm<b>Ikashy73</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:27pm<b>Zansent</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 4:07pm<b>RollingCakes</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:24pm<b>magikarpsmurfs</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 2:58pm

mkayden's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of mkayden's badges

mkayden's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

#21247834
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20720) - you deserved it (1805)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

#21244565
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37400) - you deserved it (7012)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm - work - by fuck you, tasha (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

#21244302
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35613) - you deserved it (4903)

On 08/24/2014 at 8:40am - animals - by abusedparrot - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41936) - you deserved it (15828)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38688) - you deserved it (8021) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

#21235686
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21471) - you deserved it (35241)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34159) - you deserved it (3040)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

#21229613
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47280) - you deserved it (3695)

On 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48905) - you deserved it (21170)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43104) - you deserved it (7000)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML

#21225641
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42447) - you deserved it (4360)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:38am - misc - by lostintdot (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML

#21225439
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39106) - you deserved it (4345)

On 07/31/2014 at 1:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35083) - you deserved it (11479)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: