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Offline (the 09/09/2016 at 4:26pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 July 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1514
  • Number of comments : 228
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mkayden : Last name hungry, first name always.

Whaddup fam ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

mkayden's page activity

Visits<b>brian1976</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 12:11pm<b>GlennGuagmire</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 9:48am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 11:43pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 10:19am<b>Chibster</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 2:37pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 2:09am<b>sandman676</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 10:35pm<b>Mons</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 1:43pm<b>last_kings84</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 2:17pm<b>MrJihadi</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 10:37am<b>cornyrob</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 8:03am<b>MissCobra</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 3:02am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 9:04am<b>edmunson</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 2:07am<b>ManUtdFan743</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 12:48am<b>ardenxo</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 1:41pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 7:19pm<b>romanfelixlegion</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 11:56pm

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 09/25/2016 at 5:30am<b>cornyrob</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 3:17am<b>ardenxo</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 7:41pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 1:19am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 6:18am<b>mthurston</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 12:17am<b>Tenker</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 4:45am<b>tiger820</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 3:02pm<b>GodPart2</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 12:53am<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 4:18am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 9:44pm

mkayden's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of mkayden's badges

mkayden's favorite FMLs

Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML

by killmenow / 12/03/2015 at 12:33am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love

Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML

by anonymous / 11/24/2015 at 2:38pm / Switzerland (Zug) / Intimacy

Today, I was washing my boobs in the shower when I caught my reflection in the mirror. I got super turned on at the sight of my large breasts all soaped up. I'm a man. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2015 at 9:19am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, my father, who is not familiar with keyboards, had me register his new email account for him at the public library. His username choice? "Wang dang sweet poon tang". People heard. FML

by cassieleigh1 / 11/05/2015 at 12:05am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2015 at 12:41pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2015 at 9:26am / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, my coworker and I announced that we are spending our holidays together, because we both have kids. My boss announced he is coming with us. FML

by Carnage23 / 11/22/2014 at 5:16am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Work

Today, I spent 20 minutes arguing with the class dipshit, trying to convince her that wifi hot-spots are not in fact saunas powered by wifi. FML

by Donutsarelife / 11/19/2014 at 10:09am / United States / Geek

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

by Purple / 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

by karmaaa / 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm / United States (Iowa) / Transportation

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

by longdrive / 10/14/2014 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2014 at 8:38pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk dirty to my boyfriend, after he promised not to laugh at me. All seemed well, until I heard laughter. It wasn't him, though; it was his family listening from the other room. FML

by TalkDirtyToMe / 10/10/2014 at 3:33pm / New Zealand / Intimacy

Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML

by super maman / 09/29/2014 at 11:08pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids