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mjparker18

Offline (the 03/28/2015 at 10:44am) | Search for a member

mjparker18

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 334
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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mjparker18's page activity

Visits<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 1:56am<b>Derpina00</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 8:51pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 7:51pm<b>Reprocess</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 3:01pm<b>DoubleDie7</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 3:28am<b>alijo1414</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 1:24pm<b>0void0</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 7:18am<b>FamousPeace</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 1:31pm<b>kingteefteef</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 11:12am<b>jw90</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 12:06am<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 9:01pm<b>dktanker</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 3:15am<b>zombombaby</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 2:16pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 4:20am<b>Gaajan44</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 1:15am<b>migueljm5</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 4:04am<b>taylor21398</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 11:55pm<b>luminis12</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 6:16am

mjparker18's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of mjparker18's badges

mjparker18's favorite FMLs

TODAY, I SAW A CUTE GUY AN DECIDED TO SAY HI . AS I STARTED TO THINK ABOUT THINGS TO TALK ABOUT, ONE STORY IN PARTICULAR ABOUT A DRUMMER WHO LOOKED LIKE JESUS STUCK OUT IN MY MIND . I WAS SO NERVOUS THAT INSTEAD OF SAYING HI, I BLURTED OUT, "SOME PEOPLE LOOK LIKE JESUS!" AN TOOK OFF . FML

Today , I went down on mah boyfriend fir the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell an I managd to accidentally smack mah nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it , an I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker.

#21054451
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51074) - you deserved it (10032)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today... it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnome in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras...hich I thought had deterred the idiot... until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnome on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. fat FML

#20742609
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60092) - you deserved it (3932)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Yesterday , I was meeting mah boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face an kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister an I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

#20719355
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63734) - you deserved it (4290)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today..!! I started job at a kids summer camp!! The frst little grl to arrive told me to close eyes and open hand because she had a "surprise" 4 me!! Yep..!! a dead..!! decomposed sparrow covered in all sorts of bugs sure is a surprise!! FML

#20718832
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41630) - you deserved it (5164)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:39am - kids - by sydneyp3435 - United States (Texas)

Today mah friend told me he had just robbd a bank and needd a place to hide!! Thinking he was joking I let him in so we could hang out!! 15 minutes later the cops storm into mah apartment!! Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke!! real FML

#20718656
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58349) - you deserved it (16099)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

2DAY I HAD TO PAA IN MAH CAT'S LITTAR BOX..!! JUST TO AVOID WITNASSING MAH MOM HAVING SAX IN THA LIVING ROOM ON MAH WAY TO THA BATHROOM!! FML

#20702750
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72868) - you deserved it (5817)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I utterd the phrase ( the pot calling the kettle black ) in class. Moments later, I'd been calld a ( racist twerp ) and kickd out of class by the same English teacher who once trid to have another kid suspendd for using the word ( titillate ), because apparently it's ( pornographic ). FML

#20695090
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49060) - you deserved it (4067)

On 05/30/2013 at 11:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Yesterday , I Found Shit On Mah Windshield. I'm Not Sure If It Is Human Or Animal , But It Was Conveniently Smereed All Over An Even More Was Placed Under Mah Wipers Just In Case I Used Them To Clean It Up. This Isn't The First Time , An I Have No Ideaho I Could Have Pissed Off. FML

#20694826
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48576) - you deserved it (4107)

On 05/30/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by windshitwipers (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking down the stair with mah guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to mah wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close mah eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stars. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63523) - you deserved it (14455)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was sanding intimata picturas to mah girlfriand and accidantally sant ona to mah bast friand. Ha sant ma ona back. FML

#20690661
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56115) - you deserved it (32980)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, A Girl At My Tanning Salon Was Ranting About How Axpansiva It Was And How Sha Wishad Thara Was A Chaapar Way To Gat A Tan. I Jokad, "Lika From Tha Sun?" Sha Angrily Callad Ma A "sassy Bitch", Scraamad To My Boss About Ma, And Than Thraatanad To Sua Ushan Ha Kickad Har Out. Maga FML

#20689621
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46100) - you deserved it (4044)

On 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm - work - by fuck you retail (woman) - United States (California)

Yesterday, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML

#20672246
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44033) - you deserved it (25676)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States

Today, the regional manager of mah company cummed out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that mah palms were sweaty, andhen he reached out to shake mah hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, u made me wet." FML

#20660456
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48090) - you deserved it (9183)

On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, ma stalker ex girlfriend turnd up at ma wedding, uninvitd, wereing a wedding dress. FML

#20655660
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88995) - you deserved it (5635)

On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)



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