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mje360's FML badges
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mje360's favorite FMLs
by Confused / 03/23/2012 at 11:34am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
by cjd / 03/23/2012 at 10:23am / Canada (Quebec) / Health
by ANNIEDBD / 03/23/2012 at 5:44am / Ireland (Dublin) / Work
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML
by Hana / 03/23/2012 at 3:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was talking to my husband about a work colleague, whose boyfriend is always sending her flowers and fawning over her. I mentioned how I've never been treated like that. He glanced up from his video game and said, "Shit, Mel. Get a boob job then." FML
by Mel Ancholy / 02/17/2012 at 9:04pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML
by Anonymous / 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm / United States / Kids
by random / 02/14/2012 at 1:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after finally returning to my house after over a year overseas, I found that my neighbours built a wall covering the only window in my bedroom. Not only is my room eternally musty and pitch black, but the council won't accept my complaint, because apparently my window was illegally built. FML
by BLAH / 02/14/2012 at 9:42am / Philippines / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 01/27/2012 at 10:26am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by disturbedtosaytheleast / 01/27/2012 at 6:19am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by ktinanic / 12/30/2011 at 12:27pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, on the subway, a woman got off without her suitcase. I grabbed the case, chased her onto the platform, and shouted, "You forgot your suitcase!" while the doors closed behind me. In actual fact, it wasn't her suitcase, and its actual owner was still on the train. FML
by Lavalise / 11/05/2011 at 3:11am / France / Transportation
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
by Anonymous / 11/04/2011 at 9:21pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by ewww / 07/30/2011 at 10:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was really excited because the girl I'd liked since freshman year asked me out. She came to my house and my mom decided to show her baby pictures of me with tampons up my nose because I'd had a nose bleed. Even worse, there was one picture of me when I was 15 doing the same thing. FML
by tamponface / 07/30/2011 at 8:03am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
- Today, I never thought I would see a blowjob from the perspective of the viewer, but it happened,… Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense,… Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He…