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mitgirl

Offline (the 06/22/2015 at 8:28pm) | Search for a member

mitgirl

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1851
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mitgirl's page activity

Visits<b>EconomicCrisis</b> - the 02/27/2012 at 4:19pm

mitgirl's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of mitgirl's badges

mitgirl's favorite FMLs

Today, my window broke and will not close. My room is in a wooded area. I've already chased out two squirrels and a bird and it's only been an hour. I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up like Snow White with all sorts of wildlife sleeping with me. FML

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

#21396178
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26698) - you deserved it (6883)

On 04/19/2015 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML

#21388731
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25210) - you deserved it (4667)

On 04/06/2015 at 4:49pm - health - by TheRunaway21 (woman) - United States

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

#21373551
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28576) - you deserved it (3876)

On 03/13/2015 at 12:19am - health - by numbtongue - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML

#21351947
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33735) - you deserved it (3416)

On 02/08/2015 at 5:26am - health - by irwingiggles (woman) - Netherlands

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML

#21351571
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44814) - you deserved it (3114)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML

#21350749
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33869) - you deserved it (3426)

On 02/06/2015 at 2:06am - animals - by ZAnon - United States (Texas)

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

#21341221
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30484) - you deserved it (4274)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:05pm - kids - by frozenpoo - United States

Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet smells like cherries, and my lips smell like a gym floor. FML

#21340194
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28941) - you deserved it (6339)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML

#21338417
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28496) - you deserved it (5767)

On 01/16/2015 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

#21335128
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18197) - you deserved it (26487)

On 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my friends and I were talking about our celebrity lookalikes. We decided that my friends all had attractive celebrity lookalikes, including Scarlett Johansson and Hayden Panettiere. When it was my turn, they decided that my "celebrity" lookalike is the Pillsbury Doughboy. FML

#21330766
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26094) - you deserved it (3286)

On 01/04/2015 at 4:53pm - misc - by KD (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my roommate's mother, asking me to hide her flip flops so she couldn't wear them out in sub-zero temperatures. FML

#21327005
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27443) - you deserved it (2741)

On 12/30/2014 at 4:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, on my first ski run down a mountain, I dislocated my patella. Now I get to watch out of the window as my family builds a snowman and names it after me. FML

#21326721
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24561) - you deserved it (2047)

On 12/29/2014 at 8:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

#21323893
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33587) - you deserved it (3485)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)



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