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mitgirl

Offline (the 07/08/2015 at 8:04pm) | Search for a member

mitgirl

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  • Number of visits : 1940
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mitgirl's page activity

Visits<b>EconomicCrisis</b> - the 02/27/2012 at 4:19pm

mitgirl's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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mitgirl's favorite FMLs

Today, while reading my girlfriends kid's a story, her daughter started pouring a tiny watering can on my head. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Watering your head so your hair grows back". I'm twenty-seven. FML

#21437640
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23910) - you deserved it (2080)

On 07/06/2015 at 10:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was finally going to break down my social barrier by going out on a date with a nice guy I recently met on a dating site. Just at the start of the date, he asked me how old I was, and out of pure nervousness, I blurted out, "12!" I'm 24. FML

#21437546
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22549) - you deserved it (5411)

On 07/06/2015 at 7:02pm - love - by 12yearsoldapparently (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my friend let me borrow a pair of jeans. I found out I'm allergic to her laundry detergent when I broke out in a rash everywhere that the jeans touched. FML

#21437540
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21281) - you deserved it (1702)

On 07/06/2015 at 6:51pm - health - by sydmarie98 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

#21437326
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25698) - you deserved it (2845)

On 07/06/2015 at 11:14am - intimacy - by BrittUnicorn - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up with a electric dog collar on my neck. I wouldn't have noticed it until my stepfather turned the collar to the highest intensity just to wake me up. FML

#21436783
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24061) - you deserved it (1732)

On 07/05/2015 at 12:26pm - misc - by izaya - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my window broke and will not close. My room is in a wooded area. I've already chased out two squirrels and a bird and it's only been an hour. I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up like Snow White with all sorts of wildlife sleeping with me. FML

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

#21396178
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26711) - you deserved it (6886)

On 04/19/2015 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML

#21388731
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25222) - you deserved it (4670)

On 04/06/2015 at 4:49pm - health - by TheRunaway21 (woman) - United States

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

#21373551
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28591) - you deserved it (3878)

On 03/13/2015 at 12:19am - health - by numbtongue - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML

#21351947
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33764) - you deserved it (3418)

On 02/08/2015 at 5:26am - health - by irwingiggles (woman) - Netherlands

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML

#21351571
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45197) - you deserved it (3157)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML

#21350749
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33905) - you deserved it (3430)

On 02/06/2015 at 2:06am - animals - by ZAnon - United States (Texas)

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

#21341221
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30503) - you deserved it (4274)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:05pm - kids - by frozenpoo - United States

Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet smells like cherries, and my lips smell like a gym floor. FML

#21340194
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28960) - you deserved it (6341)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML

#21338417
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28514) - you deserved it (5767)

On 01/16/2015 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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