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mitchumcrew

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mitchumcrew

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 November 1988 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 488
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mitchumcrew's page activity

Visits<b>patriot7</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 8:46am

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mitchumcrew's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the hard way that no good girlfriend-boyfriend conversation ever started with, "Suppose I slept with your best friend..." FML

#21229506
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39913) - you deserved it (8292)

On 08/04/2014 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

#21222062
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52985) - you deserved it (6395)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

#21209385
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47418) - you deserved it (5291)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:25pm - intimacy - by thedoc (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

#21101391
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43420) - you deserved it (32181)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54927) - you deserved it (27601)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11909) - you deserved it (28049)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19163) - you deserved it (36708)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22210) - you deserved it (18318)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

#19196549
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8401) - you deserved it (52682) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML

#19121562
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29466) - you deserved it (5838)

On 02/20/2012 at 9:23am - intimacy - by Gabi - United States (New Jersey)

Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML

#19026330
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24758) - you deserved it (2209)

On 02/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous -

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

#18802490
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26646) - you deserved it (8604)

On 01/14/2012 at 1:52am - intimacy - by haggisbowl - United States

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

#18433166
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41809) - you deserved it (10856)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

#17854622
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31114) - you deserved it (5632)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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