mistyeyes

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mistyeyes

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 August 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1566
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About mistyeyes : Do what you want!

mistyeyes's page activity

Visits<b>Neut</b> - the 12/11/2011 at 1:37pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:33pm<b>AliSama</b> - the 06/08/2011 at 5:44pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:25pm<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 10/15/2010 at 6:23pm<b>Rodicus</b> - the 10/11/2010 at 9:01pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 08/09/2010 at 4:33pm<b>happyk</b> - the 08/09/2010 at 3:13pm<b>MisterAmazing</b> - the 07/14/2010 at 4:53pm<b>FFML_314</b> - the 07/13/2010 at 4:02am<b>FIFA2010</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 11:12pm<b>justinj21496</b> - the 06/19/2010 at 9:53pm<b>C_ory</b> - the 06/15/2010 at 12:34am<b>Blakeup</b> - the 06/14/2010 at 8:24pm<b>KaitZ08</b> - the 06/14/2010 at 11:11am<b>0___0</b> - the 06/13/2010 at 9:06pm<b>mercury23</b> - the 06/13/2010 at 9:53am<b>Samantha_baby</b> - the 06/12/2010 at 8:26pm

mistyeyes's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mistyeyes's favorite FMLs

Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML

by joedoe / 07/18/2009 at 2:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

by grannysmack / 07/11/2009 at 5:10am / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

by Nicole / 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

by madzlovesgee / 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

by Karmas3itch / 05/12/2009 at 12:19am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, at the awards ceremony at my school, I ended up winning the top achievement award in my grade. The principal spent at least ten minutes talking about my success to the audience, the whole time referring to me as a "he" as I stood right next to him. I'm a girl. FML

by smartgirl / 05/01/2009 at 7:48pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I were seeing a movie. We ended up sitting next to a man who was continually laughing, clapping, and bouncing up and down on his seat. Extremely annoyed, we turned to him and told him to "shut the fuck up". Turns out he had downs syndrome and ran out of the theater crying. FML

by katem / 04/16/2009 at 1:08am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love