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mistyeyes

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mistyeyes
  • Town/Country : Naples, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 August 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 1210
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About mistyeyes : Do what you want!

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mistyeyes's favorite FMLs

Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML

#3849129
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11525) - you deserved it (35907)

On 07/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by joedoe (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

#3661940
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41469) - you deserved it (5607)

On 07/11/2009 at 5:10am - work - by grannysmack (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

#3563535
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111115) - you deserved it (3438)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

#3373378
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14128) - you deserved it (47134)

On 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
813 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113782) - you deserved it (71766)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

#1862791
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71427) - you deserved it (5515)

On 05/12/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by Karmas3itch - United States (Ohio)

Today, at the awards ceremony at my school, I ended up winning the top achievement award in my grade. The principal spent at least ten minutes talking about my success to the audience, the whole time referring to me as a "he" as I stood right next to him. I'm a girl. FML

#1535605
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74238) - you deserved it (4723)

On 05/01/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by smartgirl (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friend and I were seeing a movie. We ended up sitting next to a man who was continually laughing, clapping, and bouncing up and down on his seat. Extremely annoyed, we turned to him and told him to "shut the fuck up". Turns out he had downs syndrome and ran out of the theater crying. FML

#1010714
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23380) - you deserved it (132372)

On 04/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by katem (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
908 comments

I agree, your life sucks (329583) - you deserved it (35717)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (218993) - you deserved it (28168)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1097020) - you deserved it (108907)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



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