mistyeyes

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mistyeyes

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 August 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1567
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About mistyeyes : Do what you want!

mistyeyes's page activity

Visits<b>Neut</b> - the 12/11/2011 at 1:37pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:33pm<b>AliSama</b> - the 06/08/2011 at 5:44pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:25pm<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 10/15/2010 at 6:23pm<b>Rodicus</b> - the 10/11/2010 at 9:01pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 08/09/2010 at 4:33pm<b>happyk</b> - the 08/09/2010 at 3:13pm<b>MisterAmazing</b> - the 07/14/2010 at 4:53pm<b>FFML_314</b> - the 07/13/2010 at 4:02am<b>FIFA2010</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 11:12pm<b>justinj21496</b> - the 06/19/2010 at 9:53pm<b>C_ory</b> - the 06/15/2010 at 12:34am<b>Blakeup</b> - the 06/14/2010 at 8:24pm<b>KaitZ08</b> - the 06/14/2010 at 11:11am<b>0___0</b> - the 06/13/2010 at 9:06pm<b>mercury23</b> - the 06/13/2010 at 9:53am<b>Samantha_baby</b> - the 06/12/2010 at 8:26pm

mistyeyes's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mistyeyes's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML

by shitless88 / 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted to show my teenage daughter what we did when I was her age. We used to breakdance, so I stuck on a Grandmaster Flash track, and tried some old moves on the living room floor. I spun out of control, smacked my head into a wall and pulled a back muscle. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2011 at 3:13am / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

by soccerbuddyz / 08/03/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was flipping through a magazine and saw an ad that had the line "No corn, no wheat, no soy", all of which I'm severely allergic to. I got so excited at the prospect of having a food I could eat, I fell out of my chair. I then realized it was an ad for dog food. FML

by ChelseaRae / 07/06/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Health

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

by -_- / 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a guy. FML

by imsadnow / 01/31/2011 at 3:01pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML

by anonymous / 02/21/2010 at 10:16am / United States / Love

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

by Scaryman / 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up, just like daddy's girlfriend. We're still married. FML

by ShayisPay101 / 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I found out that my best friend pays my boyfriend to this day to take me out. FML

by thirdwheel / 02/15/2010 at 1:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML

by christian9294 / 02/08/2010 at 3:21pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2009 at 1:01am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

by Alice / 08/01/2009 at 4:15am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous