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About mister_moops : i'm a laid back kinda guy. you know. no worries.
i never go here anymore. but that's mostly because it's just crybaby.com. the fmls are pathetic now and most of the people who make them are retarded.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boss made me some Tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my number 1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19244) - you deserved it (3640)
On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by meaganlea (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20562) - you deserved it (1693)
On 02/22/2010 at 4:13pm - misc - by condiments - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out that my mom goes through my garbage. I'm 25 and don't live with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21239) - you deserved it (1015)
On 02/22/2010 at 8:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)
Today, I was walking with a friend after buying two cups of steaming hot coffee. While crossing the busiest street in town I tripped and fell, spilling the coffee all over me. My friend didn't notice I fell right in front of her and tripped over me spilling her coffee on me as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13219) - you deserved it (1437)
On 02/21/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by burnnnnn (woman) - Ecuador (Azuay)
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72172) - you deserved it (7428)
On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23257) - you deserved it (4736)
On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27904) - you deserved it (11976)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was shopping in a packed store when I started to feel faint. Since I was quite far along in the queue, I tried to hold out until I reached the front of the queue. Good news: I succeeded. Bad news: I then fainted at the counter, hit my nose, and shit myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20433) - you deserved it (2580)
On 12/22/2009 at 6:32pm - misc - by everyonewasstaring (woman) - United Kingdom (Croydon)
Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18645) - you deserved it (4877)
On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6433) - you deserved it (42223)
On 12/14/2009 at 6:26pm - love - by toiletgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch". I had to wash his plate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21315) - you deserved it (1064)
On 12/14/2009 at 3:23pm - work - by militarywife2b - Sent from mobile version
Today, I woke up and found that someone had taken a dump on my car. They'd apparently felt bad about it, as they'd then keyed "sorry" into the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31190) - you deserved it (1347)
On 12/06/2009 at 8:24am - misc - by flying_vegan - United Kingdom
Today, I received a $500 fine for an "unruly" dog. I don't have a dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21490) - you deserved it (1264)
On 11/27/2009 at 8:48pm - animals - by bill - United States
Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6784) - you deserved it (29721)
On 11/27/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Thanks (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, as I woke up early to do my physics homework, I heard my parents talk about how big a disappointment I am for them. They discussed how stupid, immature and how big a burden I was. They knew I was listening. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26361) - you deserved it (2986)
On 11/22/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by Cerezo (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)
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