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missymay993

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missymay993

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  • Number of visits : 182
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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missymay993's page activity

Visits<b>sma30135</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:28am<b>kalieaxoxo</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 12:52am<b>southernbellle</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 4:53pm<b>melons</b> - the 06/15/2012 at 4:46pm

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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missymay993's favorite FMLs

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31269) - you deserved it (5894)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27150) - you deserved it (12850)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, my boss grabbed my arm, raised it above my head, closed my other hand into a fist, and pushed it into his armpit. After staring at me for several seconds, he winked and left without saying a word. This isn't the weirdest thing he's done, and I'm actually starting to fear for my safety. FML

#19846175
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26579) - you deserved it (2148)

On 06/25/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by thinkimquitting (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He decided he would be a gentleman and do this to me at work, over text, during a rush of unsympathetic customers, the day before our anniversary. FML

#19843298
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30702) - you deserved it (2311)

On 06/25/2012 at 3:00am - love - by waaah (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out that the only reason why I haven't had a relationship last for more than a week the past 4 years is because of my stalker ex-girlfriend, who has been keeping other women out of my life by making up horrible stories about me. She broke up with me 5 years ago. FML

#19804016
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27448) - you deserved it (1907)

On 06/17/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

#19788440
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49727) - you deserved it (3359)

On 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by aranya (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24566) - you deserved it (3306)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML

#19764297
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24838) - you deserved it (2649)

On 06/10/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by eddie818 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML

#19761420
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17253) - you deserved it (57633)

On 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by k - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25557) - you deserved it (6763)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I received a single, hand-made Valentine's card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML

#18988741
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25833) - you deserved it (5020)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)

Today, I took off my sweatshirt in the middle of class. The tanktop I was wearing underneath went with it. FML

#18980998
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28974) - you deserved it (7324)

On 02/02/2012 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, in a store, an obnoxious woman, swearing loudly and slapping at her out-of-control kids, was disrupting the whole place. I said to the cashier, "That nasty woman should leave the brats at home." She gave me a filthy look and said "Do you mind? That's my sister." FML

#18392914
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29218) - you deserved it (17579)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:15am - misc - by oops - United Kingdom

Today, my dad nearly had a head-on collision with another car, but I grabbed the wheel at the last second, potentially saving both our lives. He spent the rest of the car trip pissed at me because I'd "interfered" with his driving. FML

#17379792
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29439) - you deserved it (2485)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:47pm - health - by laurlaur - United States (Pennsylvania)



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