About missyj0 : hi, my name is Sam and I like things because of reasons.
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missyj0's favorite FMLs
by douglas / 07/17/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
by gir / 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by 44haley44 / 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML
by ManInPain / 07/12/2011 at 12:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by lizownsvirgy / 07/07/2011 at 3:49pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Cowgirl_Up37 / 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Fatty1970 / 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by no one / 05/21/2011 at 5:07am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy
Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML
by rockyrocket / 04/26/2011 at 3:19pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health
by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 1:50am / Singapore / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by clitorasaurus / 08/21/2010 at 2:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by CH / 12/07/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML
by Mak10 / 08/21/2009 at 1:18am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
- Today, for her birthday my girlfriend wanted a night of long steamy sex. But her rarely being so in… Today, I had sex with a guy I had wanted for awhile. Or I think it counts as sex. Really, I thought… Today, I met this really cute girl at the pool and we were hitting it off until I figured out she…