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missyj0

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missyj0
  • Town/Country : Brooklyn, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 December 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1860
  • Number of comments : 177
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About missyj0 : hi, my name is Sam and I like things because of reasons.

missyj0's last visitors

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50 favourites

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100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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missyj0's favorite FMLs

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31803) - you deserved it (7250)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29016) - you deserved it (86360)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
527 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17694) - you deserved it (48501)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML

#17080145
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31961) - you deserved it (3522)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:46pm - misc - by ManInPain (man) - United States

Today, I was woken up by my step brother trying to put his tongue in my mouth. FML

#17015904
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60134) - you deserved it (4793)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by lizownsvirgy - United States (California)

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9679) - you deserved it (41818)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

#16303976
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29827) - you deserved it (17343)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52246) - you deserved it (7878)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

Today, my son told his teacher that she "has a nice rack." He's four. FML

#14079841
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24367) - you deserved it (9644)

On 12/04/2010 at 1:50am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35932) - you deserved it (7755)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my own butt. FML

#12657778
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15166) - you deserved it (21903)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

#6644782
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9214) - you deserved it (32912)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by CH (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML

#4699130
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13796) - you deserved it (44846)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31740) - you deserved it (49744)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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