missyj0

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missyj0

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 December 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3194
  • Number of comments : 177
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About missyj0 : hi, my name is Sam and I like things because of reasons.

missyj0's page activity

Visits<b>clines42</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 11:00am<b>kaitlyn520</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 7:08am<b>Scrambled</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 1:39pm<b>alexishbu</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 8:46pm<b>CX_Ashley</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 1:24pm<b>VonTritonIV</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 7:43am<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 10:08am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 2:07pm<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 6:57am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 1:42am<b>Shrekie</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 6:55am<b>ethanc12</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:12pm<b>notzax</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 12:29am<b>jason202700</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 7:28am<b>happysmile987</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 1:34pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 1:52pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 10:48pm<b>SarcasticRonin</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 12:12am

missyj0's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of missyj0's badges

missyj0's favorite FMLs

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

by douglas / 07/17/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

by gir / 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

by 44haley44 / 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML

by ManInPain / 07/12/2011 at 12:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was woken up by my step brother trying to put his tongue in my mouth. FML

by lizownsvirgy / 07/07/2011 at 3:49pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

by Cowgirl_Up37 / 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

by Fatty1970 / 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

by no one / 05/21/2011 at 5:07am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

by rockyrocket / 04/26/2011 at 3:19pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my son told his teacher that she "has a nice rack." He's four. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 1:50am / Singapore / Kids

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

by clitorasaurus / 08/21/2010 at 2:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

by CH / 12/07/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML

by Mak10 / 08/21/2009 at 1:18am / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous