About missyj0 : hi, my name is Sam and I like things because of reasons.
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missyj0's favorite FMLs
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by ZeroApostle4Ever / 02/23/2012 at 3:00am / United States / Miscellaneous
by jenni6488 / 02/22/2012 at 2:56am / United Kingdom (Gateshead) / Miscellaneous
by lulu / 02/11/2012 at 5:19am / United States (Ohio) / Animals
by wetdreams / 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
by ugh / 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anon / 01/12/2012 at 2:24pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/08/2012 at 9:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by bellaskyeb / 01/08/2012 at 12:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by tictacnose / 01/07/2012 at 7:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymoose / 12/25/2011 at 6:39am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Animals
by MikeNick / 12/17/2011 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 2:05am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals
by d0rk_ / 09/02/2011 at 4:44pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…