Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

missyj0

Search for a member

missyj0

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 December 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2055
  • Number of comments : 177
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About missyj0 : hi, my name is Sam and I like things because of reasons.

missyj0's page activity

Visits<b>Effulgence</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 9:25pm<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm<b>metalguitarist89</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 10:27pm<b>tigerisabelle</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 2:05am<b>beanzz0501</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 10:36pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:34pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 3:22am<b>WhatLiesBeneath</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 6:45pm<b>papashaan</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 3:45pm<b>pris</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 11:37am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 1:58am<b>Tayray1130</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 5:29pm<b>Konain</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 5:36pm<b>EllieMay42</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 7:03pm<b>Soloman212</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 3:36am<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 9:09am<b>Savannah_Stone3</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 12:43am<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 6:47pm

missyj0's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of missyj0's badges

missyj0's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26586) - you deserved it (4423)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

#19144211
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24964) - you deserved it (5864)

On 02/23/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by ZeroApostle4Ever - United States

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

#19137014
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8387) - you deserved it (18956)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by jenni6488 - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

#19046512
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25219) - you deserved it (4172)

On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

#18995010
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23104) - you deserved it (2713)

On 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by wetdreams - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30889) - you deserved it (4970)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML

#18785359
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25254) - you deserved it (4842)

On 01/12/2012 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

#18750908
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22882) - you deserved it (3471)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

#18745926
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26990) - you deserved it (3790)

On 01/08/2012 at 12:42pm - misc - by bellaskyeb - United States

Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML

#18738638
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29136) - you deserved it (2763)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:33pm - health - by tictacnose - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17093) - you deserved it (50268)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

#18533505
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29226) - you deserved it (8913)

On 12/17/2011 at 2:59am - misc - by MikeNick - United States

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

#18444351
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33222) - you deserved it (2803)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

#17734128
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23530) - you deserved it (9425)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was in English when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I have to walk across my school with a plunger. FML

#17645605
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23265) - you deserved it (4601)

On 09/02/2011 at 4:44pm - misc - by d0rk_ - Canada (Quebec)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: