missyj0

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missyj0

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 December 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2787
  • Number of comments : 177
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About missyj0 : hi, my name is Sam and I like things because of reasons.

missyj0's page activity

Visits<b>Scrambled</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 1:39pm<b>alexishbu</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 8:46pm<b>CX_Ashley</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 1:24pm<b>VonTritonIV</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 7:43am<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 10:08am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 2:07pm<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 6:57am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 1:42am<b>Shrekie</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 6:55am<b>ethanc12</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:12pm<b>notzax</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 12:29am<b>jason202700</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 7:28am<b>happysmile987</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 1:34pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 1:52pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 10:48pm<b>SarcasticRonin</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 12:12am<b>Effulgence</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 9:25pm<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm

missyj0's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of missyj0's badges

missyj0's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

by ZeroApostle4Ever / 02/23/2012 at 3:00am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

by jenni6488 / 02/22/2012 at 2:56am / United Kingdom (Gateshead) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

by lulu / 02/11/2012 at 5:19am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

by wetdreams / 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

by ugh / 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML

by Anon / 01/12/2012 at 2:24pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2012 at 9:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

by bellaskyeb / 01/08/2012 at 12:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML

by tictacnose / 01/07/2012 at 7:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

by Anonymoose / 12/25/2011 at 6:39am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Animals

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

by MikeNick / 12/17/2011 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 2:05am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals

Today, I was in English when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I have to walk across my school with a plunger. FML

by d0rk_ / 09/02/2011 at 4:44pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous