About missyj0 : hi, my name is Sam and I like things because of reasons.
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missyj0's favorite FMLs
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by ZeroApostle4Ever / 02/23/2012 at 3:00am / United States / Miscellaneous
by jenni6488 / 02/22/2012 at 2:56am / United Kingdom (Gateshead) / Miscellaneous
by lulu / 02/11/2012 at 5:19am / United States (Ohio) / Animals
by wetdreams / 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
by ugh / 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anon / 01/12/2012 at 2:24pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/08/2012 at 9:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by bellaskyeb / 01/08/2012 at 12:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by tictacnose / 01/07/2012 at 7:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymoose / 12/25/2011 at 6:39am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Animals
by MikeNick / 12/17/2011 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 2:05am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals
by d0rk_ / 09/02/2011 at 4:44pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was… Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of…