Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

missyj0

Search for a member

missyj0

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 December 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2189
  • Number of comments : 177
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About missyj0 : hi, my name is Sam and I like things because of reasons.

missyj0's page activity

Visits<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 10:48pm<b>SarcasticRonin</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 12:12am<b>Effulgence</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 9:25pm<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm<b>metalguitarist89</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 10:27pm<b>tigerisabelle</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 2:05am<b>beanzz0501</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 10:36pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:34pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 3:22am<b>WhatLiesBeneath</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 6:45pm<b>papashaan</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 3:45pm<b>pris</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 11:37am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 1:58am<b>Tayray1130</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 5:29pm<b>Konain</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 5:36pm<b>EllieMay42</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 7:03pm<b>Soloman212</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 3:36am<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 9:09am

missyj0's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of missyj0's badges

missyj0's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML

#20630276
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47793) - you deserved it (12078)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML

#20494355
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41483) - you deserved it (12331)

On 02/05/2013 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Lockedinroom (man) - United States

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45549) - you deserved it (5940) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

#20472773
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29966) - you deserved it (2611)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11966) - you deserved it (28143)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26911) - you deserved it (2928)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27897) - you deserved it (3430)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35684) - you deserved it (4850)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

#20034900
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35447) - you deserved it (8932)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21951) - you deserved it (5812)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10535) - you deserved it (40732)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the store for some pads with my dad. We got them and then went to the cashier. That's when he realized that they were scented. He took one out of the box, sniffed it, made me sniff it, then insisted the cashier smell it. FML

#19614809
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26521) - you deserved it (2331)

On 05/13/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by vron991 - United States (Delaware)

Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML

#19444005
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26858) - you deserved it (6234)

On 04/10/2012 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

#19406343
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7946) - you deserved it (36552)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: