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misstalented

Offline (the 05/08/2014 at 5:31am) | Search for a member

misstalented

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  • Number of visits : 568
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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misstalented's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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misstalented's favorite FMLs

Today, I started my job as an assistant to a beekeeper. I forgot to put gloves on, and got stung like crazy. My hands swelled up to the size of baseball gloves. Turns out, I'm allergic to bees. FML

#17479997
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13754) - you deserved it (32515)

On 08/15/2011 at 11:55am - work - by rr - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML

#17444868
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27692) - you deserved it (3775)

On 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm - money - by Musicfan - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I arrived in Africa to start my new job. I agreed to come to a city with little to no electricity, and poor water for triple the money I was making in Canada. I just realized my boss and I negotiated in two completely different currencies, and I'm now making half of what I used to. FML

#17364992
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22466) - you deserved it (35096)

On 08/04/2011 at 7:45am - work - by Depressed (woman) - Sudan

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

#17342308
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21533) - you deserved it (65872)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that the guy I've been sending anonymous, dirty emails to knows who I am. My signature, which includes my full name, was automatically added to the end of every email. FML

#17221822
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7973) - you deserved it (70781)

On 07/22/2011 at 9:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I fell asleep while watching an action movie. My newly installed surround sound system scared me so bad that I fell off the couch and smashed my face on our coffee table. FML

#17171472
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23128) - you deserved it (10775)

On 07/19/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by nataliepaige - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my long distance girlfriend after two years of being separated by 900 miles. She brought her short distance boyfriend to the meeting. FML

#17113605
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34308) - you deserved it (6685)

On 07/14/2011 at 10:22pm - love - by longtriphome (man) - United States

Today, I got a text message from my ex from about a year ago, asking if my 4-day-old son was his. I don't know what's sadder - the fact that he thinks a gestation period can last 11 months, or that he's more willing to step up to the plate than the baby's actual father. FML

#17061004
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27219) - you deserved it (7993)

On 07/11/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
708 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16301) - you deserved it (87421)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States

Today, my bedridden mother called me selfish. After an operation two weeks ago, all I've done is feed her, clean her and the house every day. She called me selfish because I couldn't lift a TV into her room. FML

#16977173
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30004) - you deserved it (2206)

On 07/04/2011 at 8:00pm - misc - by Ashleighx94 - United Kingdom

Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML

#16914015
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28847) - you deserved it (4170)

On 06/29/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by RYZILLAHitZ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend of five years proposed to me in front of my entire family. He later confessed that it was part of a dare with his friends because, "There was no way you'd say yes." Guess who has to explain this to all my relatives? FML

#16882542
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37076) - you deserved it (2983)

On 06/27/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by mavstrr1764847 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML

#16876528
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36507) - you deserved it (9788)

On 06/27/2011 at 2:26am - kids - by SheenaL (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML

#16854499
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31523) - you deserved it (4558)

On 06/25/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by pod (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I couldn't prove my son has had chickenpox, so his school gave us the option of getting a potentially dangerous shot he didn't need, pay for an expensive blood test to show that he previously had the virus, or sign a waiver stating I'm a religious nut refusing medical treatment. FML

#16822119
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27280) - you deserved it (6646)

On 06/23/2011 at 7:58pm - health - by CallMeJesusFreak (woman) - United States (California)



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