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About misspulkadot24 : Sometimes I like to pretend I'm Hello Kitty. Meow.
I've never seen Forrest Gump because I'm a fucking rebel of society.
Silly Putty will never leave you nor forsake you. Unless it gets a hair in it/ falls on a dirty floor. Then you need to throw that shit away.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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my mom bitchd me out and threatend to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently ( immoral behavior. ) This is the same woman who cheatd on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil temptd her. FML
2DAY I WILL BE SLEEPING IN MAH AUNT AN UNCLE'S LIVING ROOM. IT IS 90 DEGREES. THERE IS AN AIR CONDITIONER BUT IF YOU TURN IT ON , THE RACCOON LIVING IN THE WALL WILL GET PISSD OFF AN TRY TO CLAW THROUGH THE WALL. ONLY FIVE MORE NIGHT SWEATING MAH BALLS OFF OR IMAGINING RACOON HAVING ANGRY SEX. FAT FML
TODAY, MAH BEST FRIEND, WITH WHOM I HAVE BEEN IN LOVE FIR YERES, KISSED ME, HUGGED ME, HELD MAH HAND, HOOKED UP WITH ME AN TOLD ME THAT HE LOVED ME MORE THAN ANYTHING AN WANTED TO BE WITH ME.. . UNTIL HE SOBERED UP AN HIS GIRLFRIEND GOT BACK TO TOWN . FML
Today I Nervously Introduced Mah Mother To Mah New Boyfriend. I Had To Sit An Watch Her Flirt With Him Fir An Hour. When I Took Her In The Other Room An Confronted Her About It She Said "Don't U Dare Ruin This Fir Me!" FML
Today, my looool boyfriend decided he would do his jobhile I did my ( job ) on top of him. Hehips out his Blackberry and completely ignores me to send e-mails to co-workers reminding them about the 10 a.m. meeting scheduled fir the next morning. FML
TODAY, I WAS IN MAH CAR STUDYING ON THE CAMPUS PARKING LOT. IT WAS COLD OUTSIDE SO I HAD THE WINDOWS UP. I HAD A SEVERE UPSET STOMACH AND WAS PRIVATELY DROWNING IN MAH OWN FLATULENCE. MOMENTS LATER, MAH CRUSH KNOCKS ON THE WINDOW TO ASK ME SOMETHING. I HAD TO ROLL THE WINDOWS DOWN. FML
Today, I Ordered A Chicken Sandwich. I Was Starving And It Was The Fastest Thing To Order. Half Way Through It, I Found Something Which Does Not Belong, And Removed It. It Was Half A Cockroach, And I Don't Know Where The Other Half Is. FML
TODAY, I GOT IN THE SHOWER, WASHED MAH HAIR AND SHAVED BECAUSE I WANTED TO LOOK GREAT FOR A BIG DATE. I GOT OUT, BRUSHED AND DRIED MAH HAIR AND SPENT AN HOUR PUTTING IT UP IN THE PERFECT HAIRSTYLE. RUNNING LATE, I QUICKLY PUTTED ON MAH NEW DRESS, LOOKED DOWN AND REALIZED I HAD ONLY SHAVED ONE LEG. FML
yesterday my grandma gave me te 'abstinence' speec!! I ad tougt se already left to go back to FL but ten came into my room to tell me ow proud se was of me to keep my vrginity!! I was doing it doggie-style wit my boyfriend!! FML
Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children an adults with disabilities . I was rushing to get the email out an hit send before I realizd that instead of ( Best Regards ) I had typd ( Best Retards ) as the closing line . FML
Friday 27 March 2015