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About missmurderx : I'm just a wallflower.
If you enjoy any of the following, we should be friends: Asking Alexandria, We Came As Romans, NeverShoutNever, La Dispute, All Time Low, Mayday Parade, Destroy Rebuild Until God Shows, A Day To Remember, Bring Me The Horizon, A Rocket To The Moon, The Maine, Paramore, Pierce The Veil, Breathe Carolina, Miss May I, August Burns Red, We The Kings, The Summer Set, MGMT, Kids of 88, Passion Pit, Frank Turner, Of Mice & Men, Ellie Goulding, Woe, Is Me, Sleeping With Sirens, He Is We, LIGHTS, The Smiths, Plug In Stereo, Bright Eyes.
And remember kids, if someone offers you drugs.. Say thank you, because drugs are expensive.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Mobility
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Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14205) - you deserved it (948)
On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26298) - you deserved it (3154)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12 year old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26793) - you deserved it (3732)
On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8415) - you deserved it (1393)
On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15410) - you deserved it (37350)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States
Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19866) - you deserved it (7660) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Hum - Switzerland (Ticino)
Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48724) - you deserved it (5317)
On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out my dad thinks he's famous because he's been on 'Cops', twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32500) - you deserved it (2468)
On 06/23/2011 at 10:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, I had to go to a birthday party for 10 year old triplets. They've all been dead for more than 9 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30849) - you deserved it (4174)
On 06/20/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29940) - you deserved it (2987)
On 06/18/2011 at 4:51am - love - by screwed - United States
Today, I got a ticket for vandalizing public property. I decided to draw a cat on the street outside my house in sidewalk chalk. I'm 20, and I have to explain to my parents why I'm playing with chalk instead of studying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11008) - you deserved it (15820)
On 02/15/2011 at 2:03pm - animals - by AliRocks (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14424) - you deserved it (48549)
On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30998) - you deserved it (2922)
On 12/29/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26775) - you deserved it (45857)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18870) - you deserved it (6719)
On 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by reesemaster (man) - United States (Georgia)
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