missmeliss0309

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missmeliss0309

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 792
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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missmeliss0309's page activity

Visits<b>masturdad</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 7:03am<b>GreyRavenWolf</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 3:05pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 12:29pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 12:13pm<b>Yupsies</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 1:06am<b>judnsmsbxjsnsbs</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 11:01am<b>30361</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 7:45am<b>FailBear920</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 2:33am<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 5:24pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:12pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:57am<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 09/11/2009 at 6:22am<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 09/07/2009 at 1:32am<b>livingdeadgurl</b> - the 09/03/2009 at 1:28pm<b>juicyjay00</b> - the 09/03/2009 at 1:33am<b>rolguru</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 3:12am<b>numsixtynine</b> - the 08/18/2009 at 11:00pm<b>timtam24</b> - the 08/17/2009 at 8:41am

missmeliss0309's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

missmeliss0309's favorite FMLs

Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML

by myparentsarehoes / 08/03/2009 at 12:33pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML

by dumb / 08/03/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to visit my girlfriend who lives 20 hours away. Four Red Bulls: $11.50. Gas: $200. Driving halfway across the country to find your girlfriend in bed with another guy? FML

by Tuck_My_Life / 08/03/2009 at 1:15am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML

by kashish0711 / 08/02/2009 at 12:14pm / India (Chandigarh) / Miscellaneous

Today, there was a 10-minute cloudburst. It started 30 seconds after I parked my car and ended 30 seconds after I arrived at the office. Now the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and I look like I took a shower fully clothed. Oh, and I'm wearing thin white pants. FML

by Soaked / 07/31/2009 at 1:21pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

by MitchFail / 07/23/2009 at 2:42am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2009 at 1:32am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

by nomorebeard / 03/25/2009 at 10:13am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids