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missmeliss0309

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missmeliss0309
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 609
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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missmeliss0309's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML

#4254409
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64621) - you deserved it (4723)

On 08/03/2009 at 12:33pm - intimacy - by myparentsarehoes (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML

#4247689
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63456) - you deserved it (3637)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by dumb (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to visit my girlfriend who lives 20 hours away. Four Red Bulls: $11.50. Gas: $200. Driving halfway across the country to find your girlfriend in bed with another guy? FML

Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML

#4228843
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49533) - you deserved it (2519)

On 08/02/2009 at 12:14pm - misc - by kashish0711 (man) - India (Chandigarh)

Today, I missed my flight. Why? My niece thought it would be funny to empty out my suitcase and hide inside. FML

#4226931
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47394) - you deserved it (3178)

On 08/02/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Korea Republic of (Inch'on-jikhalsi)

Today, there was a 10-minute cloudburst. It started 30 seconds after I parked my car and ended 30 seconds after I arrived at the office. Now the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and I look like I took a shower fully clothed. Oh, and I'm wearing thin white pants. FML

#4181864
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37966) - you deserved it (6783)

On 07/31/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by Soaked (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15704) - you deserved it (65959)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

#597085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34781) - you deserved it (79118)

On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213655) - you deserved it (73281)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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