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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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missmeliss0309

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missmeliss0309
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 442
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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missmeliss0309's favorite FMLs

Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML

#4308181 (309)

I agree, your life sucks (21844) - you deserved it (59835)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML

#4254409 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (57736) - you deserved it (3661)

On 08/03/2009 at 12:33pm - intimacy - by myparentsarehoes (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML

#4247689 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (56578) - you deserved it (2726)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by dumb (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to visit my girlfriend who lives 20 hours away. Four Red Bulls: $11.50. Gas: $200. Driving halfway across the country to find your girlfriend in bed with another guy? FML

#4246082 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (63763) - you deserved it (3606)

On 08/03/2009 at 1:15am - love - by Tuck_My_Life (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML

#4228843 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (44622) - you deserved it (1912)

On 08/02/2009 at 12:14pm - misc - by kashish0711 (man) - India (Chandigarh)

Today, I missed my flight. Why? My niece thought it would be funny to empty out my suitcase and hide inside. FML

#4226931 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (40285) - you deserved it (2288)

On 08/02/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Korea Republic of (Inch'on-jikhalsi)

Today, there was a 10-minute cloudburst. It started 30 seconds after I parked my car and ended 30 seconds after I arrived at the office. Now the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and I look like I took a shower fully clothed. Oh, and I'm wearing thin white pants. FML

#4181864 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (33658) - you deserved it (5263)

On 07/31/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by Soaked (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokemon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokemon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030 (321)

I agree, your life sucks (12878) - you deserved it (53040)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML

#3791674 (317)

I agree, your life sucks (64058) - you deserved it (2420)

On 07/16/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

#597085 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (29090) - you deserved it (63582)

On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (528)

I agree, your life sucks (141680) - you deserved it (53028)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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