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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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missmasturah

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missmasturah
  • Town/Country : Singapore, Singapore
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 February 1990 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 688
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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missmasturah's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

#6933168 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (21206) - you deserved it (7922)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

#6692026 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (20894) - you deserved it (9045)

On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML

#6683898 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (4693) - you deserved it (22378)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at a party a fly flew into my mouth. I spit it out, and in an effort to wash out my mouth I grabbed the can of coke that was on the table next to me. Apparently people had been spitting in there and using it as an ashtray. FML

#6180431 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (22776) - you deserved it (6062)

On 11/06/2009 at 9:31am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Kobenhavn)

Today, I drove 100 miles from my parents house to mine. I had only a few miles left when I realized I really had to pee. I didn't want to pull over somewhere when I was so close to home, so I sped up. A cop pulled me over a block from my house. I started to sob, and ended up peeing myself. FML

#5897167 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (24595) - you deserved it (9568)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:16pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML

#5876533 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (33760) - you deserved it (1601)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Norrbottens Lan)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (66550) - you deserved it (9418)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was texting a girl that I've liked for some time. When I asked her what she was doing, she replied "texting and p.s. I love you". I replied by telling her my feelings for her. Turns out "p.s. I love you" was the name of the movie she was watching with her friends. FML

#5779716 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (30281) - you deserved it (8324)

On 10/11/2009 at 5:24pm - love - by pinoyson (man) - United States (California)

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

#5762381 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (5639) - you deserved it (29158)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

#5164209 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (34334) - you deserved it (2902)

On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167986) - you deserved it (51071)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)