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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out that if you let your son install a new shower head, he won't tighten it properly. So when you turn the shower on, it will shoot out at rocket speed, hitting you in the face. Then when you grab the shower handle to prevent yourself falling backwards, you will just rip that out and hit your head again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23910) - you deserved it (3305)
On 10/16/2009 at 10:38pm - misc - by Ndanick1193 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5630) - you deserved it (71592)
On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24088) - you deserved it (3280)
On 10/12/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was enjoying some "alone time" with the detachable shower head when someone flushed the toilet, causing the cold water to run out and badly scald my genitals. It hurts to walk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10942) - you deserved it (12214)
On 10/12/2009 at 8:34am - intimacy - by ravestradamus (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16283) - you deserved it (3351)
On 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I slept for the first time with my boyfriend. I'd always imagined it to be a romantic moment. It turned out that 'Saw 5' was on the TV in the background, and the sex was so fantastically tragic that I ended up watching/listening to it, on the sly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10337) - you deserved it (2352)
On 10/03/2009 at 8:20am - intimacy - by lauz (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24744) - you deserved it (2035)
On 10/02/2009 at 6:23pm - love - by Zamaria - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30307) - you deserved it (11343)
On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10284) - you deserved it (29655)
On 08/11/2009 at 11:34pm - kids - by SomeDJ (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1150) - you deserved it (2532)
On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39785) - you deserved it (5489)
On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34097) - you deserved it (56899)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my mom was really mad at me and I was driving her to the grocery store. As she was coming out, I decided to be a good daughter and drive right up to the door so she doesn't have to walk to the car. I ran her over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35196) - you deserved it (16978)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by oops (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46678) - you deserved it (2326)
On 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm - animals - by homedoggieo (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to a neon themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59467) - you deserved it (9783)
On 07/14/2009 at 8:23am - misc - by paddy (woman) - United Kingdom
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