About missbon : FML is my escape when i have a bad day, to laugh at others misfortune.. :)
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61140) - you deserved it (2103)
On 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60695) - you deserved it (8173)
On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52602) - you deserved it (5719)
On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139248) - you deserved it (32518)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me "don't worry, it's not yours." FML
I agree, your life sucks (93744) - you deserved it (4009)
On 04/08/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Crazy09 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand in his boxers, he stands up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15032) - you deserved it (89495)
On 04/08/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by cdoyle - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46738) - you deserved it (127648)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46738) - you deserved it (127648)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (198783) - you deserved it (58760)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (54156) - you deserved it (5261)
On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by Nails (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37984) - you deserved it (5067)
On 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by beerpong26 - United States (Ohio)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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