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missashzilla

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missashzilla

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 758
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About missashzilla : Hello everyone. My name is ashzilla and I'm a chronic day-drinker. I'm not an alcoholic. There is a difference.

I'm 21. I'm engaged. I have a sexy car. I'm a girl gamer. I stream DotA 2 fairly frequently. I also read a lot. My little brother is in the US Army. He is currently in Afghanistan.

I'm on fml about 100 times a day. If you want to message me, feel free. I should respond soon.

missashzilla's page activity

Visits<b>sweetkitten69</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 2:28am<b>jubejube239</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 12:45am<b>katiecakes13</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 3:43am<b>myeviltwin</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 1:23pm<b>alria_storm</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 12:32pm<b>bmba94</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 11:32pm<b>scottmn2740</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 6:54am<b>Shootermtd25</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 12:43am<b>AGB10</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 12:49pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 5:06am<b>StefanKa</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 7:42pm<b>Sakshi</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 1:29am<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 12:15pm<b>TheRandomIndian</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 5:27am<b>ColtonStecher</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 1:15am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 10:54pm<b>MaFioso13</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 5:30pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 7:58pm

missashzilla's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of missashzilla's badges

missashzilla's favorite FMLs

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34455) - you deserved it (24586)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

#17746655
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26465) - you deserved it (5444)

On 09/14/2011 at 8:21pm - kids - by unknown - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85182) - you deserved it (13065)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27685) - you deserved it (3333)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
699 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70509) - you deserved it (15304)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

#15154591
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13204) - you deserved it (34350)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69631) - you deserved it (6562)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML

#14820910
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28436) - you deserved it (5779)

On 02/03/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous -

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33863) - you deserved it (7624)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

#14376347
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14891) - you deserved it (48471)

On 12/29/2010 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML

#13850566
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73387) - you deserved it (4103)

On 11/15/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by xkal174 - United States (New York)

Today, my family and I were watching Mulan, and I mentioned that I've always had a crush on Shang. After going into detail about how I would "marry his sexy voice" I decided to look up this mystery dream man. To my surprise he was played by Donny Osmond. I will never live this down. FML

#13807463
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7906) - you deserved it (22539)

On 11/11/2010 at 9:40pm - misc - by hot4donny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

#13031931
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36924) - you deserved it (12100)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39370) - you deserved it (14826)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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