Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 04/10/2015 at 12:49pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1456
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About missashzilla : Hello everyone. My name is ashzilla and I'm a chronic day-drinker. I'm not an alcoholic. There is a difference.

I'm 21. I'm engaged. I have a sexy car. I'm a girl gamer. I stream DotA 2 fairly frequently. I also read a lot. My little brother is in the US Army. He is currently in Afghanistan.

I'm on fml about 100 times a day. If you want to message me, feel free. I should respond soon.

missashzilla's page activity

Visits<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 1:36am<b>user716</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 11:29pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 8:35am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 4:47pm<b>hellalegit</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 3:04pm<b>chatokun</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 12:32am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 4:46pm<b>sweetkitten69</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 2:28am<b>jubejube239</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 12:45am<b>katiecakes13</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 3:43am<b>myeviltwin</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 1:23pm<b>alria_storm</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 12:32pm<b>bmba94</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 11:32pm<b>scottmn2740</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 6:54am<b>Shootermtd25</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 12:43am<b>AGB10</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 12:49pm<b>StefanKa</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 7:42pm<b>Sakshi</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 1:29am

Fucked!<b>user716</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 5:28am

missashzilla's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of missashzilla's badges

missashzilla's favorite FMLs

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML


I agree, your life sucks (38115) - you deserved it (26333)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29988) - you deserved it (5855)

On 09/14/2011 at 8:21pm - kids - by unknown - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML


I agree, your life sucks (91359) - you deserved it (14368)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31078) - you deserved it (3634)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML


I agree, your life sucks (75114) - you deserved it (16331)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14947) - you deserved it (37275)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML


I agree, your life sucks (74750) - you deserved it (7078)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31838) - you deserved it (6153)

On 02/03/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous -

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML


I agree, your life sucks (37660) - you deserved it (8070)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16990) - you deserved it (51831)

On 12/29/2010 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML


I agree, your life sucks (78445) - you deserved it (4429)

On 11/15/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by xkal174 - United States (New York)

Today, my family and I were watching Mulan, and I mentioned that I've always had a crush on Shang. After going into detail about how I would "marry his sexy voice" I decided to look up this mystery dream man. To my surprise he was played by Donny Osmond. I will never live this down. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9170) - you deserved it (25297)

On 11/11/2010 at 9:40pm - misc - by hot4donny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML


I agree, your life sucks (40744) - you deserved it (12993)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML


I agree, your life sucks (43216) - you deserved it (15709)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: