missashzilla

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Offline (the 04/10/2015 at 12:49pm)

missashzilla

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1635
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About missashzilla : Hello everyone. My name is ashzilla and I'm a chronic day-drinker. I'm not an alcoholic. There is a difference.

I'm 21. I'm engaged. I have a sexy car. I'm a girl gamer. I stream DotA 2 fairly frequently. I also read a lot. My little brother is in the US Army. He is currently in Afghanistan.

I'm on fml about 100 times a day. If you want to message me, feel free. I should respond soon.

missashzilla's page activity

Visits<b>Cyntha</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 2:35pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 1:36am<b>user716</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 11:29pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 8:35am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 4:47pm<b>hellalegit</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 3:04pm<b>chatokun</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 12:32am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 4:46pm<b>sweetkitten69</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 2:28am<b>jubejube239</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 12:45am<b>katiecakes13</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 3:43am<b>myeviltwin</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 1:23pm<b>alria_storm</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 12:32pm<b>bmba94</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 11:32pm<b>scottmn2740</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 6:54am<b>Shootermtd25</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 12:43am<b>AGB10</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 12:49pm<b>StefanKa</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 7:42pm

Fucked!<b>Cyntha</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 8:35pm<b>user716</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 5:28am

missashzilla's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of missashzilla's badges

missashzilla's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

by girly girly / 05/26/2012 at 10:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

by erockinthesuburb / 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

by azmom / 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

by BadIdea / 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm / France / Intimacy

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

by Alyssa / 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

by bunnyluver4545 / 01/11/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML

by RatFailure / 01/11/2012 at 12:23am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

by LaLa / 01/09/2012 at 12:01am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

by Jman6295 / 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé has been jumping out of closets and from around corners with a video camera, trying to catch me naked. He says he wants to post a video online so his old high school friends can "rate" me. I'm now afraid to get intimate, shower, or even change my clothes in my own home. FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2011 at 2:19pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids