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missashzilla

Offline (15 hours ago) | Search for a member

missashzilla

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 895
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About missashzilla : Hello everyone. My name is ashzilla and I'm a chronic day-drinker. I'm not an alcoholic. There is a difference.

I'm 21. I'm engaged. I have a sexy car. I'm a girl gamer. I stream DotA 2 fairly frequently. I also read a lot. My little brother is in the US Army. He is currently in Afghanistan.

I'm on fml about 100 times a day. If you want to message me, feel free. I should respond soon.

missashzilla's page activity

Visits<b>sweetkitten69</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 2:28am<b>jubejube239</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 12:45am<b>katiecakes13</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 3:43am<b>myeviltwin</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 1:23pm<b>alria_storm</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 12:32pm<b>bmba94</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 11:32pm<b>scottmn2740</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 6:54am<b>Shootermtd25</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 12:43am<b>AGB10</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 12:49pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 5:06am<b>StefanKa</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 7:42pm<b>Sakshi</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 1:29am<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 12:15pm<b>TheRandomIndian</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 5:27am<b>ColtonStecher</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 1:15am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 10:54pm<b>MaFioso13</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 5:30pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 7:58pm

missashzilla's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of missashzilla's badges

missashzilla's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37270) - you deserved it (4007)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10525) - you deserved it (40701)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

#19663287
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34331) - you deserved it (4022)

On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
477 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47272) - you deserved it (4377)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30621) - you deserved it (1918)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

#19449472
464 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13932) - you deserved it (36317)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

#19357429
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28928) - you deserved it (23201)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

#19196549
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8426) - you deserved it (52759) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9722) - you deserved it (74005)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

#18772275
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13587) - you deserved it (32058)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)

Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML

#18772081
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27285) - you deserved it (3226)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:23am - misc - by RatFailure (woman) - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

#18752825
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31137) - you deserved it (7047)

On 01/09/2012 at 12:01am - intimacy - by LaLa - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

#18738481
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26925) - you deserved it (14004)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm - misc - by Jman6295 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancé has been jumping out of closets and from around corners with a video camera, trying to catch me naked. He says he wants to post a video online so his old high school friends can "rate" me. I'm now afraid to get intimate, shower, or even change my clothes in my own home. FML

#18023382
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39191) - you deserved it (4608)

On 10/19/2011 at 2:19pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44940) - you deserved it (5041)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States



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