missashzilla

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Offline (the 04/10/2015 at 12:49pm)

missashzilla

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1677
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About missashzilla : Hello everyone. My name is ashzilla and I'm a chronic day-drinker. I'm not an alcoholic. There is a difference.

I'm 21. I'm engaged. I have a sexy car. I'm a girl gamer. I stream DotA 2 fairly frequently. I also read a lot. My little brother is in the US Army. He is currently in Afghanistan.

I'm on fml about 100 times a day. If you want to message me, feel free. I should respond soon.

missashzilla's page activity

Visits<b>Cyntha</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 2:35pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 1:36am<b>user716</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 11:29pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 8:35am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 4:47pm<b>hellalegit</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 3:04pm<b>chatokun</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 12:32am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 4:46pm<b>sweetkitten69</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 2:28am<b>jubejube239</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 12:45am<b>katiecakes13</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 3:43am<b>myeviltwin</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 1:23pm<b>alria_storm</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 12:32pm<b>bmba94</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 11:32pm<b>scottmn2740</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 6:54am<b>Shootermtd25</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 12:43am<b>AGB10</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 12:49pm<b>StefanKa</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 7:42pm

Fucked!<b>Cyntha</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 8:35pm<b>user716</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 5:28am

missashzilla's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of missashzilla's badges

missashzilla's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2014 at 10:43pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

by mariana / 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

by turning red / 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

by babs / 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

by xx-look-at-xx / 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids

Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML

by save the koalas? uhh / 04/08/2013 at 10:08am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

by cjw / 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm / United States / Kids

Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML

by dumping time / 11/25/2012 at 5:38pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Love

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

by Drafty / 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after having taken hormone tablets to try to increase my cup size, I realized that I've basically reversed my menopause. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2012 at 3:25pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

by a4rk / 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm / Malaysia (Sarawak) / Work

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

by BloodFaerie / 06/30/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.