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missamerica95

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missamerica95
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 663
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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missamerica95's favorite FMLs

Today, I was leaning over a fence in a pasture to get a closer look at something. Nobody warned my nuts that it was an electric fence. FML

#19355667
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16895) - you deserved it (8964)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to a concert with my new boyfriend. I had a panic attack halfway through and an ambulance picked me up. My boyfriend met my parents for the first time drunk, in the emergency room. FML

#19336064
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15957) - you deserved it (4405)

On 03/23/2012 at 11:51pm - love - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML

#19312458
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4949) - you deserved it (27261)

On 03/20/2012 at 4:16am - misc - by argh (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I washed my sheets. They wouldn't dry quick enough, so I had to use my old Buzz Lightyear sheets. My new girlfriend took it upon herself to become a damn psychic and pay me a surprise visit right there and then. FML

#19293658
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15363) - you deserved it (2724)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by babysheets (man) - Uruguay (Montevideo)

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27405) - you deserved it (17378)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML

#19253868
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8316) - you deserved it (133523)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33499) - you deserved it (5187)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML

#19167589
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17735) - you deserved it (6642)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by still learning - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I decided to take a peek in my fiancé's vow book to see how far he's got. The only thing in there was the lyrics to a song from the movie Shrek. FML

#19164325
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9249) - you deserved it (22175)

On 02/25/2012 at 11:09pm - misc - by KMO - United States

Today, I tried to make a rocket, using Diet Coke and Mentos. It worked pretty well, as both the kitchen window and my chipped tooth can testify. FML

#19154802
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6435) - you deserved it (27186)

On 02/24/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by alex (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to use antiperspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML

#19152897
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20039) - you deserved it (4658)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I received more affection from my wife in a video game than I ever have in real life. FML

#19128091
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19979) - you deserved it (3725)

On 02/21/2012 at 12:01am - love - by bloodshedblack - United States (Colorado)



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