missamerica95

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missamerica95

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1228
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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missamerica95's page activity

Visits<b>Wolfo06</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 3:39am<b>NostalgiaFreak9</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 11:23am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 7:37pm<b>DrSirSexyLegs</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 2:42am<b>amnhu17831</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 1:53pm<b>kylo_117</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:41pm<b>JoelLavoiePower</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 7:25am<b>Born2Pizza</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 12:23am<b>Host2phats</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 1:27pm<b>Malfano0214</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 2:57pm<b>AmeliaPond21042</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 6:17pm<b>fayza564</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 3:00am<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 7:01am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 11:20pm<b>DJZach101</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 10:31pm<b>mcloonybin</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 1:46pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 7:14pm<b>niksatter96</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 2:00pm

Fucked!<b>PresAgent</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 12:37am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 5:20am<b>niksatter96</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 8:00pm<b>badmandilon</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:12am

missamerica95's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

missamerica95's favorite FMLs

Today, I was leaning over a fence in a pasture to get a closer look at something. Nobody warned my nuts that it was an electric fence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2012 at 1:52am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a concert with my new boyfriend. I had a panic attack halfway through and an ambulance picked me up. My boyfriend met my parents for the first time drunk, in the emergency room. FML

by anon / 03/23/2012 at 11:51pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML

by argh / 03/20/2012 at 4:16am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I washed my sheets. They wouldn't dry quick enough, so I had to use my old Buzz Lightyear sheets. My new girlfriend took it upon herself to become a damn psychic and pay me a surprise visit right there and then. FML

by babysheets / 03/17/2012 at 12:22pm / Uruguay (Montevideo) / Love

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML

by Major3 / 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

by awhmaaan / 02/27/2012 at 10:55am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML

by still learning / 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to take a peek in my fiancé's vow book to see how far he's got. The only thing in there was the lyrics to a song from the movie Shrek. FML

by KMO / 02/25/2012 at 11:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to make a rocket, using Diet Coke and Mentos. It worked pretty well, as both the kitchen window and my chipped tooth can testify. FML

by alex / 02/24/2012 at 4:35pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to use antiperspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 10:05am / Ireland / Health

Today, I received more affection from my wife in a video game than I ever have in real life. FML

by bloodshedblack / 02/21/2012 at 12:01am / United States (Colorado) / Love