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missamerica95

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missamerica95
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 661
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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missamerica95's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML

#19475890
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16979) - you deserved it (2116)

On 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm - kids - by sigh (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to admit that I hate the wedding dress that I've designed. My wedding is in a week. FML

#19469447
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6837) - you deserved it (22528)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:02pm - misc - by al (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

#19449472
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13129) - you deserved it (34865)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

#19440536
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15546) - you deserved it (1738)

On 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm - animals - by Lee (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

#19440536
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15546) - you deserved it (1738)

On 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm - animals - by Lee (woman) - United States

Today, my dad found out that there is a free, 24 hour, 7 days a week religious channel. Now that's all he watches. FML

#19439898
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18640) - you deserved it (1752)

On 04/09/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by awwman - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a $100 gift card for Victoria's Secret. Suspicious, I checked the receipt he'd left in the bag. Turns out he had bought it during the 2 weeks we were broken up for some other girl who rejected him, so decided to give it to me instead. FML

#19432240
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19192) - you deserved it (4823)

On 04/08/2012 at 8:13pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. I have no idea what happened the night before, except for the fact that I'd tucked two uncapped vodka bottles into bed beside me, and now my room reeks of a Russian sorority house. FML

#19417580
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5284) - you deserved it (20730)

On 04/06/2012 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

#19393049
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22040) - you deserved it (2285)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:38am - kids - by baldspot (woman) - Australia

Today, I found a used condom in my trash can. I have been happily married to my wife for 7 years, and we use other forms of birth control. FML

#19380056
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32881) - you deserved it (2099)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

#19379891
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16531) - you deserved it (2552)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:22am - health - by GetHardOrGoHome - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that the "holla" tattoo I stupidly got on my lower lip five years ago isn't fading as I expected it to, and will probably contribute to my unemployment for years to come. FML

#19376711
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4854) - you deserved it (61336)

On 03/30/2012 at 3:13pm - work - by bananamuffin - United States

Today, I brought a girl home. My dad's first reaction was to pull out the camera and snap away. She now won't reply to my texts or calls. FML

#19374063
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17327) - you deserved it (1623)

On 03/30/2012 at 1:00am - misc - by jasonnn (man) - Australia

Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML

#19369767
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35331) - you deserved it (2202)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML

#19369663
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19049) - you deserved it (1625)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by yelyah - United States (Illinois)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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