About missababgaga : Why hello there, it seems as though you read a comment of mine and took interest in the person who said it! Well I'm Kristine, and I am a new born Christian. My new relationship with God is very important to me, and I will continue to work at making it stronger. I also like reading about and commenting on the amusing, sometimes hilarious misfortunes of others, and seeing other's opinions on them. I personally believe that most of FML's are very over exaggerated or just plain fake, but they still entertain me. Lastly, it bothers me when the word "whilst" is used incorrectly... quite a lot actually. So yeah, that's all. Now, have a nice day, and God bless :)
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Consolation prize
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Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25846) - you deserved it (20212)
On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27087) - you deserved it (4425)
On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35549) - you deserved it (5428)
On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23791) - you deserved it (6024)
On 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by GingerJ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27859) - you deserved it (4237)
On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11486) - you deserved it (26209)
On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24900) - you deserved it (3126) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6875) - you deserved it (32692)
On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17258) - you deserved it (3862)
On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)
Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23282) - you deserved it (2063)
On 12/13/2011 at 12:33pm - work - by microtech - United States (New York)
Today, I called in sick at work because I have the flu. This is my first sick day in the 2 years I've worked there. It's also the day the CEO made a surprise visit. My co-workers all got generous salary increases, and some of them promotions. I'm not included, simply because I wasn't there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33201) - you deserved it (2428)
On 12/13/2011 at 7:15am - work - by rara1989 (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40965) - you deserved it (5770)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my sister's boyfriend said the only thing he'd change about her was her last name. My boyfriend told me he'd change the shape of my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21271) - you deserved it (2383)
On 12/08/2011 at 4:14am - love - by disappoint - United States (Florida)
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9350) - you deserved it (42215)
Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28056) - you deserved it (5888)
Monday 20 May 2013
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