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miss_kay07's FML badges
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
miss_kay07's favorite FMLs
Today, my deadbeat dad threatened to press charges against me for harassment if I ever contact him again. I've contacted him twice in the last two years, once to tell him he was going to be a grandfather, and once to send him a birthday card from my son. FML
by Anonymous / 11/21/2015 at 8:47am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/11/2015 at 6:03am / United States (New Hampshire) / Health
Today, my mother dragged me to the mall to get me out of the house and to get me to stop using my phone. She then spent the whole trip talking on her phone instead of actually interacting with me. FML
by LuxTheSarcastic / 11/06/2015 at 6:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/02/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
by 2pale / 11/01/2015 at 1:22pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a family reunion, my grandpa loudly said that I look like "a cheap Vegas whore" because of my heavy purple eye-shadow. I could tell that a few other people agreed. I was too embarrassed to explain that the "eye-shadow" was just dark circles. FML
by Anonymous / 10/23/2015 at 9:32pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
by AlwaysAfraid / 10/23/2015 at 6:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, it's job interview day. In the elevator on the way there, I overheard potential candidates talking about the boss of the company, mocking his alleged lack of credibility. Who's the boss? Me. They don't know that yet. FML
by Oli974 / 10/22/2015 at 9:08am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Work
Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML
by Anonymous / 10/21/2015 at 12:46am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I got into a minor argument with my fiancé. Deciding it wasn't worth fighting over, I shrugged and said, "Really, what are we even doing this for?" To which he replied, "Honestly, I don't know. I haven't loved you in years… Oh, you meant about the fight." And just like that, I'm now single. FML
by Anonymous / 10/14/2015 at 8:41am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by anon / 09/25/2015 at 12:43am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, going through my late grandmother's papers, I found out that my grandfather had never been in the Nazi party. The reason he was not allowed to work as a teacher was that he had never passed his university exams. He found an invented Nazi past less shameful than academic failure. FML
by notanazigrandchildafterall / 09/21/2015 at 7:32am / Germany (Sachsen) / Miscellaneous
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
by mother teresa was a cunt / 09/17/2015 at 10:54am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered that my 100-pound Rottweiler is absolutely terrified of (drumroll please) orange peels. Yup. A byproduct of my lunch will turn this hulking monolith with teeth into a whimpering puddle of pee. FML
by pansypup / 09/02/2015 at 10:30pm / United States (New Mexico) / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/02/2015 at 11:41am / Australia / Work
- Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes casual conversation about his bowel… Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin… Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass…