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miss_kay07's FML badges
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
miss_kay07's favorite FMLs
Today, my colon got perforated during a routine colonoscopy. Apparently, it's a rare complication and I have no legal recourse. So now I'll need to use a colostomy bag for the next 6 months until I can get surgery to fix their mistake. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2016 at 1:52am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, I was making a shake at work when the cup fell off the blender. I went to catch it, and instead caught the teeth of the still-spinning mixer. When my hand was still bleeding five minutes later, my supervisor told me to clock out until it stopped. I lost money for getting hurt on the job. FML
by TexasGirl24 / 09/10/2016 at 8:51am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, my dog brought me his squeaky toy to throw for him. I went to throw it down the hallway but it hit the door and bounced about a foot in front of him. He just stared at me for a minute like I was dumb, then took it to my boyfriend to throw. I disappoint even my dog. FML
by nattnatt73 / 09/10/2016 at 3:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
by full moon / 09/07/2016 at 10:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by ripped / 09/07/2016 at 10:57am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, my aunt said that it looked like I lost some weight. I was pleased with this, since I've been trying to lose some. My mom, for some reason, thought it was insulting. She pulled me to aside to assure me that I most definitely don't look any skinnier. FML
by eliinu / 09/01/2016 at 10:45pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health
Today, I was driving home when a guy crashes into me from behind. I get out of my car and tell him that I'm going to call the cops. He then asks me if we can move to a corner because we're blocking the way, so then get back in to move. I look in the mirror to see him driving off. FML
by Anonymous / 08/31/2016 at 11:40pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by Ihatepants / 08/31/2016 at 9:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by guh / 08/31/2016 at 11:54am / Malaysia (Selangor) / Intimacy
Today, I saw my new pet fish completely missing the food at the bottom of his tank and sucking up the little rocks instead. My last dog died from eating rocks. I think I'm doomed to have insanely stupid pets. FML
by StupidPets / 08/23/2016 at 11:09pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I saw a cute guy at the coffee shop reading a book. Wanting to be friendly, I smiled as I approached and asked what he was reading. He returned the smile and said, "Minding your damn business, by Fuck Off." FML
by nevaagain / 08/19/2016 at 4:00pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by FriendlessLoser / 08/17/2016 at 3:11am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to the sound of my cat knocking things over. It wasn't until my boyfriend sat upright and checked, that I realized it actually wasn't our cat, but my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend trying to get into our second-story window. This isn't the first time she's done this. FML
by WendigogoAway / 08/15/2016 at 5:46am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I was practicing for a Cambodian ceremony. I'm American. My fiancée is Cambodian. While doing the practice, I had six people in my face telling me what to do, all at the same time. I got frustrated and accidentally blurted out, "This is fucking retarded." Now the whole family is mad at me. FML
by rcoale1983 / 08/14/2016 at 1:59pm / United States (Illinois) / Love