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misfitforlife

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  • Number of visits : 201
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Visits<b>SMHsohard</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 1:23am

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misfitforlife's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML

#20754112
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54733) - you deserved it (6481)

On 06/29/2013 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56995) - you deserved it (9866)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30818) - you deserved it (65614)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, I received a prank phone call that woke me up. I actually kept them on the line because they were the first person to call me in weeks. FML

#20704962
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46550) - you deserved it (5639)

On 06/04/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, during a series of violent sneezes due to a cold, I bit my tongue. My tongue is now so swollen I cannot close my mouth and am drooling profusely. I have to get ready to go to my job as a cashier. FML

#20704938
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42041) - you deserved it (3472)

On 06/04/2013 at 2:47am - health - by samaram (woman) - United States

Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML

#20703790
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60863) - you deserved it (7628)

On 06/03/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by VDM (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML

#20699633
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47831) - you deserved it (4020)

On 06/01/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that the girl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below because my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML

#20698485
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47414) - you deserved it (22399)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by WTF (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I signed a two-year lease on a house. My next-door neighbor said she's in love with me, threatened my girlfriend, and won't stop blasting Taylor Swift. FML

#20696622
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49161) - you deserved it (3575)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML

#20696605
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54702) - you deserved it (3114)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:20am - love - by wtf mom - United States (California)

Today, I had to set parental controls on my iPad so my dad couldn't watch dirty videos on Youtube. FML

#20696604
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55154) - you deserved it (4508)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to go to the Apple store and log me on to Facebook on every single computer. FML

#20695876
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44498) - you deserved it (8456)

On 05/30/2013 at 7:06pm - love - by Terminator101101 - United States (Nevada)

Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML

#20692668
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65946) - you deserved it (3583)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by :) - United States

Today, I had to make a poster for social studies. I decided to write "Nice ass" in hieroglyphics. Turns out my teacher can read hieroglyphics. FML

#20691781
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23013) - you deserved it (47653)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by Amber - United States (California)

Today, I cut my bangs. When I asked my boyfriend if he liked it he said, "It's like I'm dating a new girl, this way I won't get bored with you." FML

#20687072
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45541) - you deserved it (7472)

On 05/26/2013 at 10:15am - love - by thenewgirlfriend - United States (Texas)



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