mirrrbissonnette

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mirrrbissonnette

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 642
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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mirrrbissonnette's page activity

Visits<b>andrewgold1</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 10:19pm<b>datshistylizard1</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 12:37pm<b>monapm</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 2:18am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 10:53pm<b>ElQueso</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 11:25am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 2:28am<b>iPixelCheese</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 5:08pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 9:51am<b>EnJey0</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 9:50am<b>loueasy</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 1:40pm<b>Kevejoe</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 7:42pm<b>freeport_aidan</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:25pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 10:05pm<b>FlabbberGasted</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 9:20pm<b>jsosk</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 8:28am<b>miianah1</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 1:48am<b>jacomer2</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 10:32am<b>whatsupitsbrian</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 2:18am

Fucked!<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 8:28am

mirrrbissonnette's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mirrrbissonnette's favorite FMLs

Today, my gynecologist was having trouble with my exam due to me being "too tight." I'm 24. After the explanation of having been pretty inactive in over a year, she exclaimed, "Damn, girl, we really need to find you a boyfriend!" Yeah, tell me about it. FML

by miss cranky pants / 10/30/2010 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He is the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

by verno02 / 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "caution, contents may be stinky." FML

by shmelly / 04/16/2010 at 12:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my six year old daughter cut out the stomach area of four of my favorite shirts. When I asked her why she had done so she replied, "So that they fit your tummy better, Mommy." FML

by Fatty / 03/06/2010 at 8:05am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

by Brian / 10/26/2009 at 12:25am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, during an argument with my daughter she screamed "everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration where the cat jumped on my lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on my leg and went to my daughter's room. FML

by unloved / 10/01/2009 at 10:25am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML

by scaredshitless / 08/07/2009 at 12:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went with my sister to get our eyebrows waxed. I didn't think my eyebrows were that bad--and they weren't! When the guy waxed my eyebrows, he gestured my lips and said, "Moustache, too?" Mortified, I said, "No!" to which he replied, "Aw, someone no get kissy tonight." FML

by RR / 07/11/2009 at 1:58am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

by schmoodles / 05/06/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

by whatdoyoudo / 03/16/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 5:30am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous