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mirrrbissonnette

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mirrrbissonnette
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 314
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Today, my gynecologist was having trouble with my exam due to me being "too tight." I'm 24. After the explanation of having been pretty inactive in over a year, she exclaimed, "Damn, girl, we really need to find you a boyfriend!" Yeah, tell me about it. FML

#13645148
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29526) - you deserved it (3919)

On 10/30/2010 at 1:03am - intimacy - by miss cranky pants - United States (California)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He is the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

#12438405
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27430) - you deserved it (7779)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by verno02 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "caution, contents may be stinky." FML

#9913301
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37529) - you deserved it (19047)

On 04/16/2010 at 12:03am - intimacy - by shmelly - United States

Today, my six year old daughter cut out the stomach area of four of my favorite shirts. When I asked her why she had done so she replied, "So that they fit your tummy better, Mommy." FML

#8864405
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21637) - you deserved it (4200)

On 03/06/2010 at 8:05am - kids - by Fatty (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

#6001058
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13208) - you deserved it (8470)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Brian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, during an argument with my daughter she screamed "everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration where the cat jumped on my lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on my leg and went to my daughter's room. FML

#5582438
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34099) - you deserved it (5796)

On 10/01/2009 at 10:25am - animals - by unloved (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML

#4350390
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19634) - you deserved it (47282)

On 08/07/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by scaredshitless (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went with my sister to get our eyebrows waxed. I didn't think my eyebrows were that bad--and they weren't! When the guy waxed my eyebrows, he gestured my lips and said, "Moustache, too?" Mortified, I said, "No!" to which he replied, "Aw, someone no get kissy tonight." FML

#3658638
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38748) - you deserved it (8746)

On 07/11/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by RR (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

#1701817
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17623) - you deserved it (61025)

On 05/06/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by schmoodles - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
513 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48809) - you deserved it (299920)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)



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