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mirandaelcraig's favorite FMLs
by ivannooze / 07/29/2011 at 5:40pm / United States / Health
by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Username / 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by fmylife7721 / 07/03/2011 at 1:51am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by fthislyfe / 07/02/2011 at 10:06am / United States (Wyoming) / Love
Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML
by thatsasquee / 05/21/2011 at 2:42am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/29/2011 at 2:29am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friends sat me down and said they were concerned I was self-harming. I don't self-harm, I'm just a massive klutz. They don't believe me, and want me to get professional help. And now, because I found it all so funny, they think I'm mentally unhinged. FML
by Alisha / 03/30/2011 at 1:28pm / United Kingdom (Stirling) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad said that if I walked home from school, a distance of 8 miles, he would give me $50. Two hours and four massive blisters later, I come home. When I asked for my money, he said "I was kidding." FML
by hiker / 03/29/2011 at 3:00pm / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 03/19/2011 at 11:30pm / United States (North Dakota) / Love
Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML
by notthedad / 03/15/2011 at 11:50am / China / Love
Today, I spent most of the day doing a project for school. When I finished, I got a call from my project partner. She couldn't finish her part because her internet didn't work. When I finally finished everything, I went on Facebook. She was on Facebook too. FML
by peachmelba / 02/01/2011 at 3:26pm / Denmark (Sjelland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 6:07pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Intimacy
by bdayboy / 01/11/2011 at 4:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…