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mirandaelcraig's favorite FMLs
Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML
by AFEmoWifey / 10/09/2012 at 6:21am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by LovedByFamily / 10/08/2012 at 11:08am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous
by he is going to hell / 09/18/2012 at 5:46pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by freakingout / 09/04/2012 at 5:55pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I received a call from my future sister in-law, telling me that she and her future husband had decided to hold their wedding ceremony on my birthday. I was told not to celebrate my birthday, as it would "take away the attention to the true meaning of the day." FML
by SuzyTurquoiseBlu / 08/29/2012 at 1:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
by thekriss / 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm / Love
Today, I was hanging out with my brother and his friends. While we were walking to the store, there was a loud snap. Everyone jumped. My bra had snapped, and I had to hold back tears of pain and pretend I was just as confused as they were, while they searched for the source of the sound. FML
by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 7:58pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
by bob / 07/03/2012 at 1:33pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/24/2012 at 1:01am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I found an empty parking space in a crowded parking lot. When I came back later, a lady and a cop were standing by my car. Her car used to be parked there and got stolen. They think I'm involved. FML
by Melinie / 06/23/2012 at 11:23pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Sarah / 06/12/2012 at 12:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML
by Bishop / 06/06/2012 at 10:19am / Transportation
by Anonymous / 05/31/2012 at 3:03pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to look at the pictures my mom took during my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Every single one is of my sister. Her lighting the candles, her watching me open presents, and her eating cake. The only pictures of me are in the background. FML
by Anonymous / 05/03/2012 at 7:35pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML
by Nadaz / 04/05/2012 at 7:29am / United States (North Carolina) / Geek