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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23650) - you deserved it (1931)
On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38211) - you deserved it (11462)
On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21016) - you deserved it (2130)
On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15425) - you deserved it (10569)
On 10/25/2012 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18936) - you deserved it (4581)
On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States
Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20579) - you deserved it (1225)
On 10/12/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by Dino (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21112) - you deserved it (2686)
On 10/09/2012 at 6:21am - kids - by AFEmoWifey (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22471) - you deserved it (1228)
On 10/08/2012 at 11:08am - misc - by LovedByFamily (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I found out my little brother is a highly committed Nazi. He goes to meetings and everything, my parents think it's great he is "getting out and developing a social life." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21943) - you deserved it (1097)
On 09/18/2012 at 5:46pm - misc - by he is going to hell (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, it was my first day back at school. My social anxiety is so bad that I couldn't even raise my hand to use the bathroom because I didn't want people to look at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14498) - you deserved it (2711)
On 09/04/2012 at 5:55pm - health - by freakingout (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I received a call from my future sister in-law, telling me that she and her future husband had decided to hold their wedding ceremony on my birthday. I was told not to celebrate my birthday, as it would "take away the attention to the true meaning of the day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26150) - you deserved it (1388)
On 08/29/2012 at 1:32am - love - by SuzyTurquoiseBlu (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29497) - you deserved it (7949) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was hanging out with my brother and his friends. While we were walking to the store, there was a loud snap. Everyone jumped. My bra had snapped, and I had to hold back tears of pain and pretend I was just as confused as they were, while they searched for the source of the sound. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18338) - you deserved it (1614)
On 08/15/2012 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26485) - you deserved it (7275)
On 07/03/2012 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by bob - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend told me I was almost perfect. And the only reason I'm not completely perfect is because I don't like Mountain Dew. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12959) - you deserved it (17710)
On 06/24/2012 at 1:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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