mirandaelcraig

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Offline (the 02/08/2016 at 6:18pm)

mirandaelcraig

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 20 July 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3594
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mirandaelcraig's page activity

Visits<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 5:21pm<b>149967</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 6:01pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 10:59am<b>stevenJB</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 7:07pm

mirandaelcraig's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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mirandaelcraig's favorite FMLs

Today, I didn't wear my contacts. Determined to prove to my friends I didn't need them, I read all the signs in sight. I couldn't read a particular one, so I began to walk closer. Suddenly I fell on my face, bruising my cheekbone. The sign said: "Caution: Watch Your Step." FML

by notexactly / 04/23/2009 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML

by hannah / 04/14/2009 at 11:21am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

by poo_shoe123 / 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML

by Noca / 03/22/2009 at 9:02pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

by liz1234 / 03/22/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the jewelry store to sell my wedding ring after a long and painful divorce. The shop owner took one look at it and called the cops because I tried to sell him a diamond ring that had been stolen from him 3 years ago. My ex-husband left the country a week ago. FML

by ringmaster101 / 03/04/2009 at 6:42pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I visited my ex-girlfriend's house. I saw her mother and asked "Hi! Have you recovered from that nasty cold that you had for so long?" She said "I don't have a cold," to which I smiled and said "That's great to hear!" Turns out she had lung-cancer instead. FML

by AbsentMindedBoy / 03/02/2009 at 11:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of no where and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says "I always knew you were a whore." FML

by Stairway2Heaven / 03/02/2009 at 4:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a blind date that my sister had set up. When I arrived at the coffeeshop, I approached a man waiting by the counter, asking if his name was Tim (my date's name). He looked at me and said no and then left with a drink clearly labeled "Tim" in bold letters. FML

by oprahahaha / 03/01/2009 at 11:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

by ohfantastic / 01/24/2009 at 9:47pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML

by bloom / 12/16/2008 at 11:10pm / Love