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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I found some .pdf files on my wife's computer. They were forms that had been filled out except for the date and the "reason" section. They were divorce papers. When confronted about it she said, "Well, if you piss me off really bad, I want to write down why before I calm down." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30668) - you deserved it (2759)
On 08/31/2009 at 2:10pm - love - by UNmarried (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my husband and I decided to take a romantic trip to the beach. We got pulled over, and shortly thereafter he was arrested. Just so happens you can't miss child support payments for your twelve year old daughter without getting a warrant. He has a daughter? We've been married for 14 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53810) - you deserved it (2261)
On 08/26/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by AreYouSerious (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked her why she did, she said that the psychic that she was texting (one of those 44644 numbers) said we have a 2% compatibility rating. How does that explain 4 years of happy dating? FML
I agree, your life sucks (43606) - you deserved it (3013)
On 08/20/2009 at 1:50pm - love - by ihatemylife (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, a friend and I drove all the way from Texas to a small town in Colorado to spend an entire uninterrupted night together. Not only did he forget to bring condoms but everything was closed by the time we got into town. We ended up playing cards on the bed instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12632) - you deserved it (31440)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was talking to my mom lamenting the fact that none of my few relationships seem to last longer than 2 months. She asked why and I said, "because I'm paranoid, obsessive compulsive, judgmental, defensive, and stubborn." Instead of encouraging me, she said, "Well, at least you're honest." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9018) - you deserved it (30997)
On 07/25/2009 at 7:13am - love - by lonely (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13762) - you deserved it (54745)
On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States
Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23415) - you deserved it (77927)
On 07/17/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by anonamous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I snuck into my brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go for it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to my brother having phone sex, then wait for him to go to sleep and sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18009) - you deserved it (43107)
On 07/10/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, one of my bosses came into work and told me that they had seen my dad's twin in the supermarket holding hands and kissing a much younger woman and her baby. My dad doesn't have a twin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44385) - you deserved it (1538)
On 07/09/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by tor (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37800) - you deserved it (2911)
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 3 years. I got reservations for a romantic dinner, and at the end, fireworks would spell out my proposal. The whole thing had taken weeks to plan out and had cost me a lot of money. She proposed to me at a subway station first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44532) - you deserved it (6563)
On 07/07/2009 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9360) - you deserved it (42093)
On 06/21/2009 at 3:34am - misc - by TBaggins00 (man) - United States (Illilois)
Today, at about 1 a.m. I got a drunk text from my girlfriend thanking me for the amazing sex last night. I have been out of town for 3 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57220) - you deserved it (3106)
On 06/20/2009 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by desocrates (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my husband and I decided to get a little frisky in bed. After we were done we lay spent on our bed then only to hear weird noises coming from our doorway. To our surprise not only had our daughter taken her first steps but has been watching and now making the noises as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43662) - you deserved it (22198)
On 06/09/2009 at 11:36am - intimacy - by PreciousIve - United States (New York)
Today, the girl I like came over to my house to watch a movie. We had seen pretty much every movie that I suggested, so we ended up watching The Lion King. I forgot how sad that movie is, because once Mufasa died I started bawling my eyes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33432) - you deserved it (18429)
On 05/31/2009 at 2:46am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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