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mirandaelcraig's favorite FMLs
by lance / 04/10/2010 at 1:00am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money
by pumpkinlover89 / 03/27/2010 at 4:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
by nyu / 01/25/2010 at 1:33am / United States (Missouri) / Health
by anonymous / 01/17/2010 at 11:22am / Austria (Steiermark) / Love
by shockedgirl / 01/16/2010 at 2:17am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was driving on roads that were bad from two days of snow. I spun my car out, and ended up half-way in a ditch. Thinking that I could push my car out of the snow, I got out of my car, landing in waist deep snow. When trying to get back in, I fell neck deep into snow. FML
by warningxxLidell / 01/09/2010 at 1:45am / United States (Iowa) / Transportation
Today, after buying over $300 worth of food and alcohol, I found out all my friends aren't coming to my New Years party but headed to the BIG party at the local club. The one which I sold my ticket to after my friends convinced me to throw a party instead. FML
by 20 / 12/30/2009 at 7:28pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/14/2009 at 11:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got an e-mail from my University saying I may have violated the Student Code of Conduct for being drunk in public at a football game, and now I have to go in to defend myself against charges. My lungs filled with fluid at the game, causing me to throw up. I had to be taken away in an ambulance. FML
by cagel / 12/13/2009 at 5:12am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML
by Anonymous / 12/09/2009 at 8:27am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I am lying next to my new husband. We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon and planned on spending the entire time in bed together. We succeeded in that goal, with both of us unable to leave each other's side for entire week. Sex? No. Food poisoning? Yes. FML
by IndieRox / 11/28/2009 at 5:03pm / United States (California) / Holidays
Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML
by xkellybabyyx / 11/24/2009 at 8:05pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend on her request because she "didn't have the heart to do it." Within twenty minutes I'd received 4 calls from mutual friends, including my best friend, telling me what a jerk I am. And one from my mom. FML
by Face_loser / 11/24/2009 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Love
by Micheal / 11/22/2009 at 10:59pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML
by stubble / 11/13/2009 at 1:26am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous