About mip_92 : Hai there! How sad is it that I've submitted 40 FMLs and not one has been published? Lol
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mip_92's favorite FMLs
by swee t / 09/21/2016 at 3:02pm / United States (North Carolina) / Money
Today, my wife announced she had a sexy surprise for me. Turns out she got a Brazilian wax, which is a huge turn-off for me. Not only could I not get it up, I got to hear all about how much her last boyfriend loved it. FML.
by HairToStay / 09/19/2016 at 12:04pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by AloneAgainNaturally / 09/09/2016 at 5:03pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I went to work early and saw my crush's car in the parking lot, so I parked next to her. After that, I looked over at her car to see her staring at me with a weird look and her saying, "Really?" Then she gestured around the lot; I looked around to find it completely empty. FML
by Asshole Parker / 09/06/2016 at 7:01am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Dan V / 09/05/2016 at 2:35am / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, my housemate and I had rough passionate sex in every room of the house. Being that I'm 18 and he's 32, it was a new thing for me. I just received a call from my mother stating that they would not be paying for the baby they watched us make through their wireless cams in our house. FML
by BabsZilla / 09/04/2016 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend told me he'd drive me to the jeweler's to pick out a ring. We drove there, I picked the ring, and the sales person rang it up. I glanced at my boyfriend, only for him to reply, "Well don't look at me!" FML
by Anonymous / 09/02/2016 at 10:50am / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Love
Today, I'm officially a week overdue. I went to the hospital, thinking I was in labor since I was in so much pain. Turns out it was just gas. The nurse couldn't hold back her look of pity as she told me this. FML
by herestowaiting / 08/30/2016 at 4:56pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
by anon / 08/30/2016 at 2:32pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I tried talking to the very quiet girl in my grade. We were having a conversation when a very hot guy walked into the cafeteria. I said to the girl, "The things I would do for him…" She looked at me dead in the eye and said, "That's my boyfriend." FML
by QuietGirlSucks / 08/30/2016 at 11:51am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my soon-to-be ex-wife decided she'll be moving into my apartment complex. She always goes out of her way to pick fights with me every chance she gets, has alienated my children from me and has made what should be a very simple divorce into a ridiculously long and contentious one. FML
by stillnotdivorced / 08/26/2016 at 9:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, my dad's psycho ex broke in and had a meltdown about how he's dating another woman now. She's barely 100 pounds, yet it took me and my brother several minutes and one smashed shin to finally manage to drag her out of the house, all while my dad called the cops. FML
by Anonymous / 08/24/2016 at 8:16am / Miscellaneous
Today, after two weeks of intense detective work, I found out my wife isn't cheating on me after all. She really has just been going out and playing table tennis with her friend like she said. Who the hell even plays table tennis? FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2016 at 8:40am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at a baseball game, I was telling my friends about my underaged drinking experience at my sister's bachelorette party. It wasn't until I was done telling the story that I realized the Dean of my college was right behind us, looking right at me. So much for a good first impression. FML
by fuckingcool / 08/18/2016 at 5:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a bar with my girlfriend, and I noticed an obnoxious guy from college I used to hang out with. I tried to avoid eye contact, but all of a sudden he shouted, "There's the guy who puked his margarita back into the glass!" Everyone stared. Yup, that was me, just last week. FML
by Noah / 08/16/2016 at 2:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…