Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About miniluda12 : To me, FML is just a place to go to get a daily laugh. So for that, we thank you.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad. We went to the edge of a cliff to "relieve ourselves". He peed and it came and hit me in the face, he did it on purpose. So, I decided to get him back and peed at him. The wind changed direction and hit me in the face again. FML
Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML
Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML
Today, I swerved to avoid hitting a dog that ran in front of my car. The dog was fine but I hit a road sign, ripped off my rearview mirror, and cracked my passenger side window. When I got out to examine the damage to my car, the dog growled at me. FML
Today, I went out drinking with a female friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, She said 'Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?'. Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy at the bar. FML
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
Today, I saw my crush walking on the other side of the street. She hadn't noticed me, so when she did I nonchalantly looked over and casually waved to look cool. I then walked right into a lamp post. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML
Today, I went to Cheese Cake Factory for dinner. There was this hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt ?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML
Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML
Friday 6 December 2013